Hello to all the girls that are reading this! Since society has taken it upon itself to set standards and tell you how to live life, I shall go ahead and do the same. Here are my tips and tricks on how to be the perfect girl and fit in everywhere.
You don’t need to worry about not being accepted by the masses any more.
A perfect girl never complains
That’s the first and most important one. A perfect girl never complains. Since you were born with a vagina, it is your job to take bullshit from all angles in life and not say anything about it.
Is some pervert staring you? Are you parents picking out someone for you to get married? Keep your mouth shut and go along with it all. You don’t want people to say that you spoke out against a male or your elders. Because then society will judge you for being rebellious and you won’t able to fit in with everyone and become the perfect girl.
So if a guy is staring at you like you’re nothing more than a piece of ass, don’t protest. A good piece of ass doesn’t protest and thus fits in with men everywhere.
That’s what a real piece of ass looks like.
A perfect girl ALWAYS covers herself
Under no circumstances must a perfect girl be anything short of completely covered. Never. If even a bit of skin shows and people see, you will never become a perfect girl. So it is better that you keep yourself completely covered even when you’re at home. Research has shown that odds of you becoming a perfect greatly increase if you make sure you’re covered 24/7. It is known.
This is the only kind of shower you’re allowed to take. But make sure your head is covered otherwise you’ll go to jahanum and the only thing you’ll be showered with is flames.
Basically, go around looking like this:
A perfect girl always wears makeup for her man
It doesn’t matter if you want to or don’t want to wear makeup. Make sure you wear it all the time otherwise you don’t deserve to be with your husband (because any other sort of relationship is haraam). The foundation you apply on your face is also the foundation of a successful marriage where your husband will be happy with you.
Something like this:
Or even this (with a hijab though. As always):
A perfect girl is a housewife. Probably less. Nothing more.
Do you want to work?
Is there anything that you aspire to achieve?
Any form of ambition you have must be curbed immediately because that means you won’t spend your time slaving over your family or your husband. The only job a woman has is to clean, cook, look after children and look after her susraal. A perfect girl is always efficient in all parts of the house. Please be a sughar bahu otherwise you will be more useless than a lota in the bathroom where there’s already a muslim shower.
If you’ve followed all the instructions given above, you are now officially a perfect girl. Enjoy your oppressed and monotonous life. You deserve it 🙂
*Disclaimer: This article is purely satire. Taking offence means you’re really dumb.