7 Things Women Need To Stop Doing This Ramadan - Parhlo

7 Things Women Need To Stop Doing This Ramadan

Enraged by the fact that women are living beings who have a right to their likes and dislikes and the basic human right to do what they want, some mullahs have graciously sought to ‘correct’ these sinful creatures’ ways and lead them onto a better, more pious path. Here are some of the crazy ‘Fatwas‘ that have been passed by scholars!

1. Stop Reading Romantic Novels

Being transported in a fantasy world is not ‘Halal’ and so the trend must end. Though I agree, they do seem to have a point sometimes *cough cough* Fifty Shades of Grey *cough cough*.

7 Things Women Need To Stop Doing This Ramadan

2. Stop Watching Football

They know. They know we only watch it so we can stare at the footballers’ thighs. Or for the times Ronaldo goes shirtless. We must stop now.

7 Things Women Need To Stop Doing This Ramadan

www.people.com

right after one more game.

7 Things Women Need To Stop Doing This Ramadan

source: giphy

3. Stop Eating Bananas, Cucumbers and Carrots

Any phallic shaped fruits that might ‘turn us on’ and cause us to lose control and forget our limits…

7 Things Women Need To Stop Doing This Ramadan

etrends.pk

…and no, they don’t mean eating.

7 Things Women Need To Stop Doing This Ramadan

source: giphy

THIS YOU GUYS. THIS.

4. Stop Cooking

Because we don’t know how to, right? So let’s just stop altogether. Let’s see them do a better job at it. While we’re at it, maybe even stop posting your edible disasters on social media and spamming all those people who don’t really care?

7 Things Women Need To Stop Doing This Ramadan

Source: facebook

5. Stop Wearing Western Clothes

You wouldn’t want to be provocative now, would you? You are public property. You must stay hidden. Jeans are more provocative than those skin colored tights.

7 Things Women Need To Stop Doing This Ramadan

tribune.com.pk

6. Stop Watching T.V

All those cooking shows and the commercials will obviously make you so hungry and thirsty that you’ll be compelled to break your fast. Because that’s the kinda weak-ass creature you are. Leave this job to the men too.

7 Things Women Need To Stop Doing This Ramadan

source: gifsec

7. Stop Taking Selfies

No seriously though. It’s just plain annoying. Please, stop.

7 Things Women Need To Stop Doing This Ramadan

www.apnatvzone.com

Unless it wasn’t glaringly obvious, this was a satirical piece intended for all those wonderfully smart individuals out there who believe women should be told what to do 24/7 and dictated on each and every action.

We have a special message for those who believe these ‘fatwas’ are legit and should be followed – please, please, please do not fast… 

Your tiny brains probably won’t be able to handle the low blood sugar.

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