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We are born with purpose thrust upon us. Further, then plain survival like most animals, humans thrive on purpose. We are sent to institutions that elucidate this purpose for us from an early age and then through limited options, we are told to select a purpose for as long as our bones give out. I understand the importance of such a system, it has succeeded thousands of years. But I also would like to be allowed to exist without purpose thrust upon my weak shoulders.
It seems ironic to say this since my chosen purpose is to be a lawyer. And it is no small role to play. I took upon it out of whatever free will the system had left for me so it is truly unfair to complain so grandiosely. However, despite the pressure from society to be as valuable as possible, I would also like to do nothing. Nothing at all. I would like to not suffer underneath the stress of contributing to a world that welcomed my existence so reluctantly when there were too many people and too little resources.
So where do I stand in this battle of purpose against menial endurance? It would be a dream if I were allowed to be; to read without the pressure of knowing everything in the world, to watch a TV show without debating on its moral lessons, to eat something without worrying about its health merits.
But it is just that. A measly dream. My reality is that I am studying in a taxing academic field, I will work an average of forty hours a week to prosper in this career, and then I will retire with the materialistic acquirements I amassed to meet death. And it will be more than satisfactory.
It’s goddamn sad, isn’t it?