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Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness and when your chest feels tight, your heart rate begins to increase, and you feel as if it’s going to be your last day. When you’re going through such situation you avoid social gatherings, you avoid talking to people around you and you feel better staying silent. People around you want to talk to you and say things that hurt you instead because they are unaware of what you’re going through.
That’s the fact, if you keep a smile on your face it means you’re doing well, your life is going great. But what about the things going inside your head? I first experienced anxiety at the age of 16, but I didn’t really know what was happening to me. I never had such experience in my life. I used to cry day and night and left my college for 2 months.
The confident and vital girl that I once, was left out. I fell into the trap of anxiety that seemed to have hit me every night. The young sixteen-year-old girl that I was at the time was drowned with anxiety and fear. I was so done. Done of trying to live like a normal and happy human. I never let anyone knew that I was diagnosed with anxiety as I was embarrassed and I was scared of hearing wrong consequences towards me.
I used to elude as many social situations and family events as much as possible because interacting with other people made me feel sicker and sitting around people made me run away somewhere where I am alone. My bedroom became my safe haven. Darkness became my friend and the outer world became my enemy.
Everyone who used to come to meet me just used to say one thing “What is happening to her? Get her checked properly, she is becoming skinner day by day” And these words used to impair me. I used to stand near the mirror looking at myself and ask, ‘Will I ever be able to get through this?’
I was on medications but my parents never lost hope in me and never let me loose hope in myself. This process lasted for over 4 months which included the medications to be taken daily at night for an entire year. The therapist taught me ways to control my anxiety and I used to come home and try to follow her instructions, finally after several months I noticed that I had started to recover.
In the end, I’d like to say to the people who are suffering from anxiety, be strong don’t let others debilitate you. Don’t open up to someone who can never understand you because you will never feel relaxed or relieved but worse than ever. Share your feelings with your parents only because at the end of the day, they are the only ones who are sincere to us/there for us.
Don’t overthink and don’t let overthinking take over you. Anxiety is nothing, I repeat nothing. It’s just what we keep on thinking leads to anxiety. Try to keep yourself involved in things as much as possible. Few deep breaths can work too. I have written this to give hope to others battling with anxiety, depression and to help them out, I try to help out people going through this phase as much as possible. AND YES IF YOU’RE GOING THROUGH THIS JUST REMEMBER YOU’RE NOT INSANE, YOU’RE LOVED, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL IN YOUR OWN WAY, DON’T LET THIS BREAK YOU DOWN. JUST BE BRAVE!