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Whether you are an aunt, a grandmother or a happy mother; there are a dozen moments in your life where kids embarrass you. Though most of the times, a hard glare or a shake of the head might do the trick but sometimes, your kids would embarrass you in ways that all you can do is pray for the ground to gulp you.
One such question that today’s kids have a yearning curiosity for is “Where do babies come from?”. And with the progressive technology, it is hard to keep them satisfied by beating about the bush. Below are some of the stories most of us build up in answer to their favorite question:
1. Play-Dough – Babies like Play-Dough Toys:
You think that Play-Doh is such a relieving and engaging activity for your kids where they learn how to make cute stuff and mess around with their dirty hands. And so when struck with this sudden question, you put up that creative hat and explain the new theory; “Your daddy and I made the baby from Play-Doh and then baked him like a cake in the oven”
Think you have won the battle? Just wait when he offers to help you make another Play-Doh Baby!!!
2. Swan Delivery Service:
This is one of the most common theories that mothers have used since generations to avoid the awkward question. You know you are playing it safe when you describe the process to your kids; “Swans fly to Heaven and pick up a beautiful baby. They then fly back to the hospital and deliver it to the parents.”
Phew. Had hard job was done? What if your kid is a smarty-pants and asks, “Why don’t swans just fly and deliver the baby to our house?”
3. Online Ordered Babies:
Stuff on sale has now become such a crazy hype that it won’t be crazier to deal with this awkward question by saying that you ordered the baby online on a Black Friday Sale. So finally, those crazy sales were worth for, saving you from some embarrassment.
And what if he asks you to exchange the baby for a new one? Just like you do with your regular online shopping…
4. Store Bought Babies
This one is outdated since online shopping has now become a norm. You tell your kid; “We saw the baby wrapped up in a box on a store’s window and I fell in love. So I asked your daddy to gift him for my next Birthday. Hence, your daddy bought him.”
Not bad. Right? And what if he goes about asking the shop-keeper for cute babies on your next shopping trip? *face-palm*
5. Baby Flower:
This theory is similar to the Swan Delivery Service minus the hospital trip. In this, you tell your kids; “God has a huge garden of Baby flowers in Heaven just like we have a patch of sunflowers in our garden. When God becomes happy with you, he sends down a Baby flower through angel and you have to water him every day just like you water all plants.”
Remember you need to stop smiling in case he asks why doesn’t a sunflower poos and pees like a Baby flower.
6. The Hiding-in-the-Garden Game:
It is practically a newer theory. According to this one, you tell the following tale to your little curious head; “Once your daddy and I were playing hide and seek in the back yard when I was pricked by a cactus needle. I cried in pain and God then gave a baby in my tummy to ease my pain.”
Ha. Now that answered the main point. And what if next time he screams in pain, “God!! Give me a baby and take this pain away!!!”?
7. Baby from Belly Button:
This theory is my favorite of all. Since it answers the kids’ embarrassing two questions: How do babies come in mommy’s tummy? How do babies come out from mommy’s tummy?
When your kid outgrows all the above theories and thinks that your nose will elongate in a while like Pinocchio because you are lying then this one is the best of all. You just have to put up a very serious face and with a professional tone describe it like this;
“Mommy ate something a few days back resulting in a baby growing in mommy’s tummy. So mommy went to the doctor for a check-up and he took the baby out through the belly button.”
Wow. That is enough to convince teenagers as well if they weren’t exposed to so much media. Now that your kid is conent with any of the above theories then gear up for the next question, “Why women can have babies in their tummies and not men?”