Pakistan is a very diverse country. With that diversity, the culture becomes pretty zigzag as well. There are many different races that are present throughout Pakistan, each with different cultures. Each culture has its own traditions, values, norms, and customs. Uniqueness is a part of the Pakistani culture as well. Each culture has its own family value. Even different families in the same culture have different family values. Keeping that in mind, let’s discuss what culture and norms does a basic Pakistani family has.
I will list down some points which I think are the most general. I understand that each family has their own cultures but this is based on the most common things found. Furthermore, I will list down the good and the bad things we have in our culture.
Family-Oriented Culture
In Pakistan, ‘family first’ is a very important concept. Our culture revolves around having big families and living in harmony together. It is common for in our culture to take care of family members unlike in the western cultures where everyone is left to fend for themselves. This tight-knit family culture allows the in-need family members to not feel so abandoned.
This family-oriented way of living life makes sure that everyone receives love and affection from someplace. Although true, it might sound like a disaster for some folks, but for the majority, it is a harmonious way of living life. This is one of the best things in Pakistani family culture.
Joint Family System
Source: Parhlo pink
A JFS is a good and a bad thing. First, let’s discuss the good things.
In a Joint Family System all your cousins live with you. You will be able to have a sleepover without thinking of ways to convince your parents because you already live together. Another good thing that comes with a JFS is that you can have a lot of people who can cook for you. If your mom is too busy or not in the mood to deal with you, you can always ask your chachi. There is always someone available to talk. You always have siblings even if you are an only child. Lastly, you never feel alone.
With good things comes the bad as well.
A Joint Family System can be the cause of a lot of fighting within the family. When so many different families live under one roof, a lot of mishaps and clash of values can happen. Each family has its own way of living and has its own way of handling situations. And when so many different ways combine together, it could spell disaster. A lot of times, fights happen because of little children fighting with each other. For some odd reason, grown-ups start to fight as well. This is more sad than weird.
A Joint Family System isn’t all sunshine and rainbow but it is not all doom and gloom as well. It might be good for some people and it might be bad for some.
Father is the sole earner
This is the norm of the 60s and 70s that, for us, has carried on in the 21st century. Although it does serve the male ego well, it is also quite stressful. It becomes quite daunting and scary for the father if he cannot provide for his family. It leads to mental health problems and as well as physical problems. Furthermore, it is quite impossible in this economy for families to have a sole earner. Yes, there are many families where everything is good and the father is the sole earner. But, this case is not a lot.
We as a nation frown upon men who make their wives work to keep the household running. Not only the people but the husband himself feels guilty and unmanly. Pakistanis need to understand that there is no shame in both the parents sharing the responsibilities of supporting the household. This brings me to my next point.
Mother is the only caretaker of the house
This is definitely a bad thing. Mothers are charged with the responsibility of taking care of the children, cooking and also cleaning the house. Pakistani family culture revolves around the father providing financially and the mother providing emotionally. Mothers are held responsible for grooming the children and making them well-mannered. This is the responsibility of a mother but the father also has to share this responsibility. A lot of times in our culture, the father doesn’t pay much attention to what his children are doing until something goes wrong. Furthermore, the dad becomes a figure that is feared instead of being someone who is at the forefront of the family.
This is quite a saddening thing in our culture that the father takes a backseat in his children’s lives and the pressure of making sure that the kids turn out good is put solely on the mother.
Cousin Marriages
Source: Paki Hungama
This is something I am sure everyone has seen in their family, simply because it is so common. My parents are cousins and a lot of the people around me are getting married into their families as well. This is something which can be seen as a good and a bad thing both.
Firstly let’s look at the bad. If you end up getting married to your cousin and then also have children, it is quite possible that if you have a genetic disease in your family. The chances of that happening to your children would increase. Also, there is a chance that your children could be slower than other kids; this is not too common but it is a concern. The last bad thing is that it is just plain awkward.
Now time for the good things. If you are lucky, you and your cousin would have a strong bond between each other. This could be because of the childhood you guys spent together. There will be more support from the family. You and your cousin would be able to understand each other better because of being with each other since you guys were babies.
These are the good and the bad things in the Pakistani family culture. I know there are way more but these are the most general. So, how many does your family have?
