It is only after you lose something that you realize the value and worth of it. We all have a special relationship with our parents that is nothing like anything.
Our parents play the most significant part in laying the building blocks of our lives. We owe them a lot because they look after us when we are down or low, irrespective of what age we grow into. Your parents are the beacon of hope shimmering in your heart. It is only our parents that provide us the encouragement and hope when the world is crumbling around us.
When we lose them, it feels like our entire life’s purpose just went down the drain. A blooming flower in our lives withers when a parent departs from our lives. It is an immensely tragic experience we all must go through one day.
If you take an outlook of what it feels like to lose your parents, you will feel a shiver down your spine. We managed to find out a real story of an individual who took the leap of sharing their personal experience.
Lisa Schmidt, who is a relationship and life coach, wrote an inspiring tribute after losing her parents. She sheds light on what it truly feels like. She highlights the intricate details that a person feels. It is a deep-dive into the experience that opens so much to realization.
Lisa tells how it has affected her life both in short and long term. She also found some positive leads brought by the experience.
Her experience of losing her parents
“I don’t think there is anything that can prepare you to lose a parent. It is a larger blow in adulthood I believe because you are at the point where you are actually friends with your mother or father. Their wisdom has finally sunk in and you know that all of the [stuff] you rolled your eyes at as a teenager really was done out of love and probably saved your life a time or two.
I lost both of mine two years apart; my mother much unexpected and my father rather quickly after a cancer diagnosis. My mom was the one person who could see into my soul and could call me out in the most effective way. She taught me what humanity, empathy, and generosity mean. My father was the sarcastic-realist in the house and one of the most forgiving people I have ever met. If you wanted it straight, with zero [filter]; just go ask my dad.
Grief runs its course and it comes in stages, but I was not prepared for it to never fully go away.
1. My phone is never more than 1 foot away from me at bedtime because the last time I did that I missed the call that my mother died.
2. The very thought of my mother’s death, at times, made me physically ill for about six months after she died. I literally vomited.
3. Their deaths have at times ripped the remainder of our family apart. I did my best to honor their wishes and sometimes that made me the bad guy. The burden of that was immense, but I understood why I was chosen. It made me stronger as a person, so for that, I am grateful.
4. I’m pissed that my son didn’t get to experience them as grandparents. I watched it five times before his birth and I feel robbed. He would have adored them and vice-versa.
5. I would not trade my time with them for anything, but sometimes I think it would have been easier had you died when I was very young. The memories would be less.
6. Don’t [complain] about your parents in front of me. You will get an earful about gratitude and appreciation. As a “Dead Parents Club” member, I would take your place in a heartbeat, so shut your mouth. Get some perspective on how truly fleeting life is.
7. It’s like being a widow — a “club” you never wanted to join. Where do I return this unwanted membership, please?
8. Other club members are really the only people who can truly understand what it does to a person. They just get it. There is no other way to explain it.
9. Life does go on, but there will be times even years later, you will still break down like it happened yesterday.
10. When you see your friends or even strangers with their mom or dad, you will sometimes be jealous. Envious of the lunch date they have. Downright pissed that your mom can’t plan your baby shower. Big life events are never ever the same again.”
Take care of your parents. Spend time with them, make memories with them, prioritize them in your life, look after them, make them smile by your efforts and most importantly, pray for them.
Our parents are the only people having unconditional love for us in this world. Nothing can replace the love of our parents. Let us cherish it while we still have it.