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So if you’re not a Muslim , the question on your mind must be; what is ‘Tahajood’?
The most accurate linguistic definition for this is ‘to refrain from sleep’. It is a non-obligatory act of worship, voluntary however. It is performed just like our normal prayers , except that it is much shorter and is performed before dawn, generally around the last 3rd of the night.
Now though I’ve mentioned it is not obligatory, it is the most sacred act of worship. We believe that around the odd hours of night, God descends down to the Earth and asks:
‘Who will call on Me so that I may respond to him? Who is asking something of Me so I may give it to him? Who is asking for My forgiveness so I may forgive him?’
So now that you have a somewhat clear idea (hopefully!) of Tahajjud , I will describe my own take on it.
I believe that we as human beings are the most fallible creatures on the Earth, and sure, we get ourselves into a downright mess sometimes. But repentance is always a steady state to own up to our deeds and keep turning over a new leaf. Forgiveness is a crucial part of any religion and so is repentance.
With it comes the fact that we humans, are also very demanding. And we always seek a medium to somewhat attain our desires and all of our wishes. In Tahajjud , being humble doesn’t work. You literally lay out your greed like a carpet , and God does not mind fulfilling all your desires ( as long as they’re morally acceptable).
Keeping both the ideas in mind , I pray Tahajjud. But I also call Tahajjud my ‘Honest Hour with God.’ I have a way with words , and I can never properly communicate all my ideas and all my opinions with humans. For there is a limit to a human’s capability of understanding. Given that you may be able to pour your heart out to a friend , but they will never understand , because at the end of the day , they may have opposing opinions.
So I talk and I talk and I talk to God. It is nice to talk to someone , who will never judge you, who will never interrupt you , who will always lend a listening ear to you and will perhaps, may be even smile from the Heavens above at your inconsistencies.
My honest hour is basically a rant session. I rant about the world , politics , society , education , socio-economics etc, and it’s a never ending list. Even though I cannot see God , having faith in something unseen, is like having hope constantly. And it feels exhilarating to find hope even in the darkest of times.
My honest hours with God are the most precious hours of my day. I do not feel conflicted. I do not feel at loss. I do not feel overwhelmed. I feel understood. I feel relieved. I feel liberated. And most of all , I feel at peace.