A Muslim man shares his opinion on the secrets of marriage and people could not disagree with him anymore. Ahsan Irfan started a thread on Twitter, “12 Years a Husband: 12 Marriage Secrets That the Imams Won’t Tell You”.
According to him, since he has been married for 12 years, he is capable of telling the world things that they have ‘probably never heard before’. Well, here comes yet another know-it-all marriage secrets thread.
"12 Years a Husband: 12 Marriage Secrets That the Imams Won't Tell You"
It's yet another Muslim marriage thread, this time, though, from someone who's been married for 12 years, telling you things you've probably never heard before.
— Ahsan Irfan (@ahsanirfan1985) June 27, 2020
Ahsan has given some of his secrets of marriage which are basically from a masculine point of view. He seems to be giving out tried and tested tips to men from his 12 years of marriage.
The very first secret he states is related to setting boundaries. The man emphasizes how crucial it is to set some boundaries in ANY relationship. He says ‘enforce them ruthlessly’, no matter what the consequences are. Further adds that in case of boundary violation, simply ignore the spouse; ‘withdrawal of attention’ for some time.
Setting boundaries is understandable- but why ‘ruthlessly’? Anyways, coming towards the second secret, he says to reward your wife with attention ONLY when she tries to please you. Like, is he serious?
Moreover, his third secret being ‘never tolerate disrespect’, contradicts itself if we talk beyond a masculine POV, as the fourth point states ‘be contrarian enough’. Is this guy for real though? Claiming these secrets to be things that Imam won’t tell you is simply absurd. Why would an Imam promote such androcentrism?
He might claim this thread to be ‘male-centric’ which women might not like, however, not only women but also men are greatly enraged by this. In fact, people are worried about his wife. God knows how he treats her.
People are infuriating at Ahsan’s tweets and cannot stop bashing him for his sick mentality. They are genuinely concerned about his wife, and what she has to deal with.
Moving on, his fifth secret states ‘your woman is going to screech regardless of what you do’, and urges to control her emotions. In addition, his sixth secret preaches to never become emotionally flustered to her screeching as it ‘displays your weakness’. People are calling him out for his internalized misogynistic values- which he undoubtedly deserves.
He writes ‘dump the idea’ of emotional vulnerability- SIGH.
Furthermore, coming towards his seventh and eighth secret, the man strongly opposes emotional vulnerability towards the wife. He says that women find your vulnerability attractive as long as they think you are only vulnerable to them. He does not stop there, he adds that having kids should not change this.
The ninth secret says to ignore the idea that the ‘health of the bedroom is reflective of the general health of the marriage’. What comes after this is completely preposterous! In his tenth point, he urges men to ‘keep her in check’ by treating her like you have ‘more options besides her’. Besides these, the last two secrets are to ‘lift weights’ and to be ‘suave’.
People are deeply disturbed by the kind of bigotry and chauvinism he is promoting. They believe that his ‘fragile masculinity’ is not only manipulative but also emotionally abusive. These are simply untrue religious beliefs about marriages. This sort of mentality is downright unacceptable!
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