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This article is originally written by Ammama Hussain
Domestic violence, basically it is not an issue of women rather it’s an issue of men, by men. By labelling the issues wrong, we are only nurturing just a foul ignorant society; only casting away the spotlight to the wrong stage. Gender violence is the more suitable term to address.
Men enjoy a dominant gender in the fabric of our society. It is a very natural psychological phenomenon that the dominant group is barely questioned; to even examine what is wrong with it hence this provides a privilege to them; to leave the table with no questions answered. If done, this will eradicate a misogynist, victim-blaming ideology and will reveal; the deep-rooted issues actually causing it.
It is the age of robotics, and we know things are wrong somewhere; when we see domestic violence, rapes, child abuse, and paedophiles still exist. The recent heart-wrecking motorway tragedy; where a mother’s pride was shattered before her children then the poor little soul 7-year-old Marwa; being raped and burnt, 2 daughters being raped by a father, and the rape of female corpses was immensely horrific; that made nerves to shiver.
This is a society we will be giving to our daughters in the legacy.
All the evils are being committed in our very own society. It is not like that all the demons responsible; for these activities are having hidey-holes, in the blackness of night; they appear, practice such heinous crimes and leave. Ironically, all abusers are around us. They are the product of our very own society. It is a systematic social problem.
Women leading and challenging these barbaric issues are sadly labelled as man-haters, ’’sasti-feminist.’’ Challenging an authority or power has never been welcomed; but it is the men who are lashing out violence, not to women and children but to men as well; whether it is a marital or gang rape or verbal, psychological abuse; at work hurled by boss men on worker men.
The stereotypical baseless philosophy, ‘’Mard ko dard nahi hota’’ further aggravates the condition. The men also did not choose to be in a patriarchal society. The snatched right of men expressing feelings results in men shifting to anger; as a form of expression which is a powerful deflecting tool; when you do not want people to see you. This gives birth to an abusive and violent relationship. Do traumatized children innately learn; how to hit their wives, how to shout at and slap their kids – how to be a MAN? No, this is how the brutely manipulated chain goes on.
We live in this world together. We need more adult men with the power to prioritize the issue alongside women.
It is crystal clear that it is far simpler stated than done. Caring at this point is not enough. We need guts, courage, moral integrity to set things right together. Let’s accept the fact; we lack men leaders at this platform. Education is the best weapon we can use to destroy this gender violence culture. There is no alibi for educational policymakers to deny a compulsory anti-violence course; teaching mutual respect and honor in schools, colleges, and universities.
Many students raised in abusive households will get to know what shapes a healthy relationship; like, how not to learn to be abusers but those who choose not to remain silent. This will shift the paradigm of the misled patterns; of thinking to a more humane anti-violence society. Just not because violence is illegal but it is wrong and unacceptable. Edmund said, ‘’The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
Be the part of the process of change, join me in ensuring this end; in our generation by signing this petition to teach ourselves how not to cause Gender Violence. The petition number is 3295. Let’s make a change.