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“She constantly refused and was hesitant to greet her uncle, I kept pushing her to do so, I couldn’t sense her uneasiness, how could I not?”
The monsters we created, as parents, as a society, giving anyone a lifetime access around our young ones, little did we know it could scar her for life.
The biggest dilemma our society is going through is “Child Abuse”. It’s heartbreaking when such stories are whispered around, and that too in a massive number. If it exists, why not acknowledge it, and counter a problem like this? Why are we quiet, what are we scared of?
Increasing rape and sexual abuse within the family, and around is an alarming situation for us all, about time we rise up against it!
Why are we so sure and confident that we are good and responsible parents, only because we take care of the kids’ needs? Where do we fail to protect them? Why is all that blame tagged to the rapist only? Isn’t their fault of the parents too somewhere?
Knowing about the existence of an evil such as this, should we not be taking preventive measures? It’s the predators’ hunger we agree, It’s them who should be whipped and hanged we agree but what about us parents, definitely we’ve been negligent somewhere in the parenting.
Ask yourself, why telling your child about good touch and bad touch, is considered a ‘taboo’? No, it’s not taboo, it’s not shameful! Is this preventive measure shameful or bearing the consequences more haunting and life scarring for the kid?
And remember “Anyone” can be a child molester, so how to spot one?
Most child molesters are initially trusted by the kid they abuse, and that’s when they exploit that feeling of trust. Family members like Step parents, step-siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins can be sexual predators too
As well as people at the environments they grow around, teachers, staff at school and home, and trust me in a lot of cases, even a religious teacher
How to spot a child predator?
Do you know anyone who,
* Insists on hugging, kissing, tickling, wrestling with or holding a child even when the child does NOT want this physical contact or attention?
* Often makes sexual, adult jokes or references in the presence of children
* Exposes a child to pornography or content not suitable for kids, that also includes intimate scenes in movies as such
* Has secret interactions with teens, and kids and spends excessive time, communicating with them
* Buys them gifts and takes them out too often, and appears as ‘too good to be true’
* Allows children to get away with anything to be in their good books, and develop a bond
Now that you’re aware of their presence, how do you protect your angels from such monsters?
Tips For Protecting You Child From Rapists/ Pedophiles:
- DON’T TRUST ANYONE! (In hundreds of cases the real dad’s been torturing their daughters this way) I know that’s disgusting but please we need to accept the reality.
- After the age of 7, don’t let the siblings of opposite sexes sleep together. I’ll quote a Hadith here (the hadith reported by Daarqutni and al-Hakim from the Messenger (S.A.W) who said: When your children reach the age of 7 then separate their beds and when they reach 10 beat them if they do not pray their salah)
- Teach them who are their Mehrams and Na-Mehrams.
- Explain to them that cousins of opposite sexes are not their real brothers/sisters. Tell them what’s their limit of frankness.
- Keep an eye on them when they mix up together.
- Monitor your child’s online activities.
- Teach them the difference between good touch and bad touch as early as the age of 5-7 years
- Take your kids in confidence and make sure they confide in you. Be their BEST FRIENDS so that they tell you their secrets.
- Be involved also in your child’s extracurricular activities, show up at their field trips, games etc. Also, you need to know well, the adults in your child’s life.
- Be careful, when someone shows extraordinary love towards your kid.
- Be aware! Tricks could be played on your child: bribery, flattery, sexually suggestive behaviors, exposing your child to pornographic material etc
- A child molester will look for a child who is vulnerable and being neglected by his/her parents so be an involved, present and attentive parent!
- Teach them to say ‘No’, whenever they wish and whoever they wish to- Teach your children that their “no” will be respected, whether it’s in playing or tickling or hugging and kissing. For instance, if your child does not want to give Grandma a kiss, let the child shake hands instead. And, make sure Grandma understands why this is important for the safety of the child.
And most importantly, teach your child to speak up, regardless of the circumstances, speak up, if it’s against their closest relative, don’t let them fall prey to emotional pressure by the attacker, speak up no matter what!
Ab nahi tou kab? Speak out against it, so the predator knows his rule is over, let us destroy all these self-created taboos, and fight them and eradicate them completely, Ameen