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“Uth bandh kamar kiya darta hai
Phr dekh khuda kiya karta hai“
What makes people fear failure?
The word failure is so much stigmatized that everyone is afraid of it. Nobody thought out of the box. Everyone is running in one direction to get success. One is forced to use different methods to attain success. During this process, one may intentionally or unintentionally harm others.
A question arises, why?
It’s because of the culture we live in. The society who has some certain norms, certain standards good or bad. On the basis of these standards, the person is being judged positively or negatively. The sense of competency, the race of success in which envious parents put their children in, the external pressure from society’s judging “eyes”.
People may be judged in different categories and labeled as losers or winners. There is a huge pressure of being successful and being competent which indirectly make parents place conditional love on their children. Thus the children are burdened with the fear of failure and shame, where sometimes there is a competition with siblings, cousins, and schoolmates.
However, in this article, I would like to share a middle-class girl’s story. Story of resilience, story of fighting back, and the story of learning that there is nothing wrong in failure. Like the other children having the extreme burden of studies including the pressure of getting the best scores. She was also suffering from this wave of competence. And like other parents hers were also having high expectations from her, her mother demanded A+ grade as her all cousin sisters achieved A+ grades.
She studied hard, she studied very very hard not to learn but to get the A+ grade, she studied hard in a FEAR of failure. In the end, she ended up failing in her intermediate. She thought her life is finished, she blamed herself for what happened, she isolated herself so that none could question her about her failure. This failure destroyed her in bits and pieces. But when we see the other side of society and our parents we realize that there is positivity in the world as well.
After facing the failure she saw her mother supporting her and not letting her down. She saw her siblings bucking her up and encouraging her efforts to restart. So, with their support and encouragement, she gathered all her shattered pieces, stood up and make herself ready for the second attempt. Yet she faced many taunts and haw hays from surroundings but it was her innate resilient personality, self-esteem, her self-confidence and external forces like her mother’s and sibling’s support make her strong enough to ignore all the bashing comments coming towards her and focus on her goals. Because she was not eligible to take admission in university her whole year got wasted.
Nevertheless, she learned some important things in life this year. So, you can say it was her most important year throughout her life. She learned to be strong, she learned to ignore, she learned to face challenges, she learned to do hard work and most importantly she learned not to fear failure. She understood the fact that failure is one important factor in life. After having the insight of what failure is and what fear she had. She never gets afraid of it and when this fear got vanished she started getting success to step by step. She turned out to be a fearless and strong personality. Thus, she started achieving her goals one by one And now she is a Position Holder in Master’s degree Program.
Failure is not the end of the world, failure is learning and most importantly, failure is the key to success. Failure makes you learn another way out when one way is closed. It makes you think productively. It makes you learn to re-try again and again until you succeed. It makes one believe that there it isn’t a failure until you stop trying. It makes you believe that society also involves people who will encourage you, who will support you when you are feeling down, who will push you to try again and get succeed. Failure is a step towards success.