Love sure is one of the most integral parts of our existence but have you ever wondered what’s even more important than that? Life! In the age where we live in, casual dating and being in relationships has become extremely essential, especially for women. Our society’s double standards are such that they give men the liberty to spend their lives as bachelors till they are 30 or something. However, if any woman decides she wants to remain single till she reaches 30, fatwas start getting issued and it becomes a must for everyone to question, ”Shaadi kab karogi akhir?”.
Despite all this, things are starting to change even in Pakistan now. Parents are letting their daughters to make their life decisions by themselves. They have begun to accept the fact that getting married is their own call. On the other hand, girls also are now educated and career-oriented. They want to make a name for themselves and they know that marriage is not the only option for a respectable status in life.
Similarly, Ghania Asad a Pakistani, well-educated girl has shared her thoughts regarding this matter. She gave us the answer to why not being in a relationship is all right. It all started occurring to her when a boy asked her, “Why aren’t you in a relationship?”
I was having a conversation with a boy one day when he casually asked me, “Why aren’t you in a relationship?”.
I thought about it for a second, and then simply said, “Honestly, I just don’t want one.” He looked very confused, and I could tell by his expression and long pause that he didn’t really understand my answer and wasn’t quite sure what to say. He simply responded, “Why?”
Someone called me right after that so I didn’t get a chance to answer, though I’m not even sure what I would’ve said in that moment. However, I couldn’t stop thinking about the question.
WELL WHAT HAPPENED NEXT WAS THE REALIZATION THAT SHE DOESN’T REALLY NEED A MAN IN HER LIFE TO GIVE IT A NEW DIMENSION;
I was slightly offended because honestly, I’ve never been happier than I am right now. But as I replayed the conversation over and over, I began to understand why my response may have been equally as puzzling to his. We come from a generation that thrives on Instagram relationship goals and casual hook-ups. Everyone is so focused on finding the one that they will settle for just someone. And for a long time, I was this way, too. After a three-year relationship that was doomed, I made a drastic change and decided to start dating someone new. Myself.
And let me tell you, she’s great. *flips hair*
WAIT! THERE’S MORE,
She taught me that it’s okay to be selfish. Because when will I ever be at the age again when it’s okay for me to pack up and move 400 miles away? There will come a day when I will have a spouse and a family who will depend on me, but for now, it is vital that I’m making decisions based on no one but myself. I, for once, can do whatever I want.
She taught me that I don’t need another half. The problem with everyone searching for their other half is that in doing so they are in turn claiming that they’re only half a person. I don’t want another half; I want another whole.
She taught me not to settle. I spent a long time finding my identity in other people. Who liked me, what they thought of me, etc. The problem with this, if you haven’t figured it out already, is that people will disappoint you. If you are deeply rooted in who you are and who God has created you to be, then you should know what you deserve. Do not let people convince you that you are too picky, because you are the one who will be living with the consequences of a settled relationship if you do.
YOU GO GIRL!
She taught me how to be genuinely happy and to make sure that that happiness stemmed from no one but myself and the blessings that I have been given. Having someone to add to your happiness is beautiful, but you do not need to look for someone to provide it. Because how do you expect to ever be happy with someone else if you can’t even be happy with yourself?
She taught me that it’s okay to laugh at my own jokes and sometimes eat ice cream for dinner. To sit and watch sunsets alone and sing to myself in the car. I’m 26 years old and will never be younger than I am in this moment. My life does not begin when I find someone who loves me, it began when I started loving myself.
AND THE BEST PART IS SHE BELIEVES IN LOVE AND THAT SHE IS READY TO WELCOME IT WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT,
I know that God has already written me a beautiful love story and will one day send me someone who will encompass all the things I’ve dreamed about having in a man. But as for right now, I’m way too busy falling in love with myself to even consider falling in love with you.
Ghania Asad taught us that it is okay to be single and that relationships are not the most necessary part of our lives. We all need to realize that there is more to life than getting married or engaged. Everything happens at the right pace and the right time. We just have to go with the flow and do what we really want to do.
So kudos to this woman who gave everyone a wonderful message!