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TV ads will be the death of me. One of the reasons why I don’t watch television anymore is because of them.
1. Always A Pain
Let’s start with “Always”, the sanitary napkin that gets soaked with Satan’s waterfall and is nothing close to a pyaar bhara ehsaas. Um, hello? A pyaar bhara ehsaas should not make you want to kick babies in the face, okay?
And why do they have to demonstrate it? With that blue ink? Girls dancing around free like a bird because they have a “pyaar bhara ehsaas” in their panties.
There you are having a nice cup of tea, sitting with your family and ‘Khush raho Always!’ starts playing on the T.V, while your brother and dad start averting their gaze from it and your mom tries to change the channel but isn’t successful because she’s pointing the wrong end of the remote at it.
2. Then There Are The Tea Ads. Oh My God The Tea Ads!
*hero saves girl from villain, tells chotay to get him a cup of Tapal’s Tezdum because apparently it gave him the courage to fight that villain*
*Hamza Abbassi asks an aunty which tea brand she prefers X or Y-blah blah blah… ad ends with him holding a cup of tea and raising his eyebrows as he talks, notice how they go up and down like wipers on a windshield*
*ghar walay rukhsat their daughter, mom cries, ‘Ab shaam key chae kaun banae ga?’ *sob sob* (KIUN WO PATTI SATH LAY GAE HAI AUNTY YA PHIR APKE GHAR WALON MAY KISI AUR KO CHAE BANANI NAHI ATI?!)*
3. Not To Forget The Mobile Ads. Ugh.
*Narghis Fakhri gets out of a fancy car, struts to an okay looking dude and asks him which mobile he’s using, flirts shirts a bit and the dude tells her to fuck off and get a new one because she isn’t getting it from him, doesn’t care if his male copulatory organ is screaming no no nooooo NOOOO*
*people dancing around trying to sell that cheap Q-mobile with not so cheap models holding them oh my god I’d buy that shit if I could take that guy from Ashiqui home after he’s done saying, ‘I Noir, do you?’ Do me? Yeah okay I don’t mind. *faints* Okay sorry*
4. Surf Ads
*child spills something on his clothes, husband spills something on the dinner cloth, because apparently clumsiness runs in the family, they gasp loudly, afraid of the mother, mother arrives, sees it all says ‘NAHI BACHAY GA!’, storms into her room, husband and child wet their pants and follow her, she finally smiles and clarifies that ‘daag/stain’ nahi bachay ga, pulls out a famous detergent from a paper bag, gets to washing and they live happily ever after*
And oh, if you aren’t feeling beautiful, dip yourself in Meezan ghee because apparently har cheez meezan may achi lagti hai.