Mother! You Didn’t Tell Me How To Live Without You

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Since a very young age, I had been hearing of various people loosing their mothers. Listening to such tragedies would always send shivers down my spine. I used to pray to God to never put me through a daunting situation like that. I’d wonder how people were able to survive without their mothers? What was their approach to life since they were forced to live through such a terrible mishap? Or most importantly, how would they be feeling? Would they ever miss their mom? Would they feel lonely if they saw me latching onto my mother because they couldn’t do the same to theirs? Did they want their mother back? Did they ever cry to the verge of fainting, begging for a miracle to happen, that’ll bring her back to life? Back at the age of 10, all these questions haunted me like a ghost.

Now, seven years later, I sat on my bed jotting down this essay word to word with all those inquires being answered. I understand exactly what goes through the mind of that pain stricken person. I lost my mother back in January and now that October is approaching I learn what the true meaning of pain is. I realize what loss is. I comprehend what the significance of a mother is. The way I see it, as a child, I had been living peacefully inside this bubble of protection. A bubble created by my parents. A layer of safety that would cradle me as if I were a precious antique, forbidden to be mishandled. But, as one of my parents departed, that bubble burst as well, leaving me exposed to the ruthlessness of this world.

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Whats frustrating is that, no matter how much people want to help you, they certainly cannot understand the way you feel. Nobody could look at the scenario through your eyes. You’re left alone to deal with how you feel, not a soul to share your burden with. That’s how great of a loss of loosing a mother is. They say God puts his favorite people through challenges they fear most; I do not know if I make it to the list of his beloveds, but what I know is that my mother did. In fact any mother in this world would. If I were to ever describe the word ‘mother’, I’d define it as the purest of souls amongst mankind. I’d define it as the sunshine which blooms after a horrid storm. I’d define it as the smile that could warm the coldest of hearts. I would define it as unconditional love.

Although, I feel miserable. I feel ruthlessly lonely. I feel deprived of love. I miss the woman who gave birth to me when I see others latching onto their mothers. I would give anything to have her back. And sometimes I cry so much, I bring myself to the verge of losing conscience! But what keeps me going in this time of misery is the thought that either today or tomorrow, we are bound to be reunited.

 

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