Should I leave My Studies Just to Get Married? Is Marriage Everything?

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For all the people of our sucky society,

I belong to a middle-class family with moderately conservative values. And, as I say moderately conservative, it is understood that there is a high ratio of double standards too. As I have begun to mature, it is becoming more evident of how shitty, life is here for women. Being a practical example myself, I will let you know the problems we face:

I am a medical student and since MBBS lasts for about 5 to 6 years, this means I will roughly get free from MBBS around the age of 25. Now the family to which I belong, girls tend to get married by 22 to 24. And, the same thing happened with me. By the time those 5 years of MBBS ended, my family has started planning to transfer me to God forbid hell ‘susraal’, and who knows whether I would be able to continue my studies or not. I have always dreamt of going abroad, but can someone answer, when is that supposed to happen?

Source: Giphy

I wanted to live freely for some time, but my father says, “After graduation, we will get you married”. You know why? Because after receiving the degree, I will start earning my own money and I would have a bit control over my decisions but, “nooooooo larkiyan ko tou ziyada azaadi nahi milni chahye”. Then why are you sending me to study at a place, miles away from home?

So, I am in an awkward situation where my father wants me to get married immediately and on the other hand, he wants me to become a strong independent woman and a successful specialist!

Source: Giphy

Then whenever I ask my father, “Why are you making me study all this?” his answer is always, “Kal ko buray waqt main kisi ki mohtaaj na ho” ( here, ‘buray waqt’ means divorce). I am 101% sure my family would never let me go through a divorce unless I am being physically tortured by my susraalis. What’s the use of my job if I can’t use it to be stable? And what about the emotional torture I would be going through?!

Whenever I come back home from my hostel for vacations, my parents never let me go alone, anywhere. My question here is, “Why can’t you be protective when I travel alone with complete strangers? Why can’t you be there when I go grocery shopping alone for my hostel? Why can’t you be there when I have to deal with strange, male patients all alone?”

I don’t understand if your ultimate goal for your daughter is for her to have a happy married life or a bright career? Please don’t stress upon her to have a good career if you want her to make a home. Not all girls can manage a tough life of maintaining the house, raising children and work in hospitals for so many hours.

Yours sincerely,

A Frustrated Doctor

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