Disclaimer*: The articles shared under 'Your Voice' section are sent to us by contributors and we neither confirm nor deny the authenticity of any facts stated below. Parhlo will not be liable for any false, inaccurate, inappropriate or incomplete information presented on the website. Read our disclaimer.

Source: zia/wp
My lips didn’t move, my eyes didn’t move and I begged to ALLAH. My heart prayed. My eyes were praying, every cell in my body prayed. I couldn’t utter a word yet I knew my ALLAH would have understood
I could barely walk yet I knew ALLAH would have understood
I couldn’t blink yet I knew ALLAH would have understood. My heart started praying

Source: zia/wp
“YA ALLAH YA REHMAN YA RAHEEM KUCH NAI MANGTA TJHSE KCH NAI, KCH B NAI…”
I couldn’t utter these words, I don’t know why and how I was saying these words. Ya ALLAH YA REHMAN YA RAHEEM. I continued to cry, I cried more insanely now. I had lost all control over myself. I was a neonate, a neonate just delivered out of a mother’s womb who knew nothing but crying. He cries for no reason because that is the only thing he knows, that is crying.
‘SUBHANAKALLA HUMMA WABIHAMDIKA WATABA RAKASMUKA WATA AALA JADDUKA WALA ILAHA GHAIRUK’
I was pronouncing my prayers reflexly now, years of training of praying had now made me attuned to prayers, I most of the time offered them reflexly and my mind was somewhere else. I now wanted to offer my prayers in full concentration but I couldn’t as my sobbing made it impossible for me to offer any prayers in a tone which will erase my sins on this holy land. The burden of sins made it difficult for me to offer the prayers. My reflex prayers continued. My crying continued as my lips moved asymmetrically in a tone of a child who had learned to speak for the first time,
‘ALHAMDULILLAH I RABBIL AALAMEEN’
‘ARRAHMAN IR RAHEEM’
How great HE is to bring a sinful person like me in HIS home, and there I was accepting my sins in front of HOLY KAABA.
‘MALIK I YAUM IDDIN’
O my ALLAH I accept that you will decide my fate on the day of judgment. The thought of getting pushed to hell sucked all of my blood out of my body, it sucked all of my bone marrow out of my bones. I felt an intense wave of heat gripped me and my whole body was drowned in sweat. It was as if all I had left in my body is my tears.

Source: zia/wp
‘IYYAKA NA BUDU WA IYYAKA NASTAEEN’
YA ALLAH I only pray to you, whom else should I pray for when you are the all powerful.
‘IHDINASSIRAT AL MUSTAQEEM’
YA ALLAH YA REHMAN YA RAHEEM’
‘SIRAT AL LAZINA ANUMTA ALAYHIM GHAIR IL MAGHDOOB I ALAIHIM WALADDALEEN’
Guide me towards the path of the people who are blessed, who are pious and not the one one who are astray. YA ALLAH turn me towards you.
‘AMEEN’
‘QUL HOWALLAH O AHAD’
YA ALLAH you are only one. There is no God except YOU.
‘ALLAHUS SAMAD’
YA ALLAH you are eternal, absolute.
‘LAM YALID WA LAM YOULAD’
I accept that you have no father or son.
‘WA LAM YA KUL LAHU KUFUWAN AHAD’
And there is none comparable to YOU. I bowed down in RUKU. Bowing down is said to be the most difficult thing a person has to do. It takes letting go of your ego. And here I was bowing down in ruku and then in sajda.
‘ALLAH O AKBAR’
‘SUBHANA RABBI YAL AZEEM
All praise to ALLAH WHO is the most supreme
I then got up
‘SAMI ALLAH HULIMAN HAMIDA’
‘RABBANA LAKA AL HAMD’
ALLAH O AKBAR
My back arched, my toes on the ground, my knees on the ground, my hands on the ground, my nose and forehead touching the ground in sajda as I forfeit all my pride to ALLAH, ALREHMAN AL RAHEEM. A flood of tears came rocking into my eyes. I cried ferociously,
‘SUBHANA RABBI YAL AALA
SUBHANA RABBI YAL AALA
SUBHANA RABBI YAL AALA’

Source: zia/wp
‘ALLAH O AKBAR’
I sat down and then went again in sajda
SUBHANA RABBI YAL AALA
SUBHANA RABBI YAL AALA
SUBHANA RABBI YAL AALA
ALLAH O AKBAR
Tears are all that I had brought with me. I was drowning, I was drowning in my own tears. I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry for long enough. I didn’t want to stop as if crying made me feel lighter. After a long time in sujood I got up.
ALLAH O AKBAR

Source: zia/wp
I recited
And then rose my finger to
ASH HADU AN LA ILAHA ILALA HU WAH DAHU LA SHARIKA LAHU WA ASH HADU ANNA MUAMMAD AN ABDUHU WA RASULUHU’
ALLAHUMMA SALLI ALAA MUHAMMIDIN WA ALA ALI MUHAMMIDIN KAMA SALLAITA ALA IBRAHIMA WA ALA ALI IBRAHIMA INNAKA HAMEED UM MAJEED
RABBIJ ALNI MUQEEM AS SALATI WA MIN ZURRIYATI RABBANA WATA QABBAL DUAA RABBANA AGHFIRLI WALI WALIDAYYA WALIL MUMININA YAUMA YAQUM UL HISAB
I turned my face towards right
ASSALAMO ALIKUM WA RAHMA TULLAH
I turn my face towards left
ASSALAMO ALIKUM WA RAHMA TULLAH
You come back from that place but your mind and your soul refuse to leave. It is as if you linger on in between. Your mind and body is dissociated and the only thing left is a biting nostalgia which bites you every day, every passing second; as your body yearns to return back to its soul and mind which is a place where you find ALLAH closest to you, where your mind and heart resonates at an incomprehensible frequency and a place where this hyper-resonance produces a fluid through your eyes, which is known as tears in common language. But it is hard to believe those actually are tears especially considering the pain which those tears portray.

Source: zia/wp
I cry, I cry as I see this picture after 52 weeks. I cry, I cry because I miss the prayers of HARAM. I cry, I cry because I miss the taste of sujood. I cry, I cry because I miss the view of KAABA. I cry, I cry because I miss the aroma of Mecca city.
