How many times have we seen the society frown over the word “divorcee” followed by an anticipated haw-haye and Astaghfirullah? Many? Always? Well, this is what the problem is with our society and to be honest, we are tired of it. This beautiful couple is goals to quite many of us who have gone through a divorce or raving through a sick relationship with their partner.
Dump him, the life is a bit hopeful today with this stereotype breaking heart-warming story. Indeed, they are a slap in the face of all those stereotypes that have done nothing but brought torture and depression to the sufferers. Marrying a divorcee does NOT bring shame to a family!
A story so warm and comforting
This girl shared her story with the rest of the world and paved the way for hope to slide in the lives of many who are endorsing beatings, violence, and toxicity in the name of marriage. She also brings light to the lives of those who are divorced and hopeless.
Hopeless because they don’t believe the “stain” of divorce will ever wash away. Well, here’s the thought: it’s not a stain, my friend. It’s just another step you took to cut the miseries out of your life and kudos, ‘cause you moved on! Listen to this hopeful tale by a divorcee whose take on the entire issue is rationally positive. And read on to see the twist!
A story with a twist
Being divorced may not be as big of an issue as bearing a child from it could be. Haye-haye bacha bhi hai? You’d often hear people say that. If not explicitly say, then at least suggested in their dabbi argument. To your consolation, these tiny people won’t live forever.
And to your dismay, this mentality might. But, you can always step forward and challenge it the way this woman did, and look how happy she is. Say Mashallah. With her daughter sitting with her stepfather on their apparently seeming Walima, she seems safe and happy.
So what’s the story?
The girl breaks her story with a powerful sentence, “Yes, I was married before.” And then she continues,
“My daughter Hanna is Ali’s (my current husband’s) stepdaughter. Yes, I got divorced. I know a lot of people who know me or follow me online are from Pakistan where divorce is considered taboo. Talking about it is the first step towards normalizing it.”
The woman talks about normalizing the topic of divorce and we are all ears.
She says, “I strongly advocate the institution of marriage. Marriage is all about togetherness. It is about two different individuals coming together, of experiences, of the joys of starting a family, of tears and happiness. And fights too. Yet, when the basis of marriage- companionship and happiness- is threatened, I wonder why the option of divorce is scorned upon in society, especially in the Eastern countries.”
Divorce VS society
She begins by describing the essence of marriage and then goes down to showing astonishment over the thought of ending a relationship when it becomes toxic. It is true. We do tend to look down upon those who are open about ending a relationship. Why? Just because society thinks so? I’m sorry to break it to you, you are yourself a participant of the society. Better to be active than ignorantly passive like the rest of the “society”.
“Though our society has opened up considerably to the idea of remarriage, there still are issues that crop up in case of divorcee remarriage, starting with a big doubt on the character of the divorcee. And a divorcee with a child? Well, it could just get tougher.
Surprisingly I realized the rules were more flexible for a man if he were divorced!”
She doesn’t shy away from stating the truth. Many problematic issues are normal for men in society when they can suck the life out of a woman if, God forbid, she becomes acquainted with those. Smoking, pre-marital relationships, dancing, and even speaking loudly. Adding to that list, divorce. And if a child is involved, it makes the matter 10x worse, or even more depending on the back mindedness of your circle. If you remember Ms. Khan and her illogical banter, you know what we are talking about. She herself says, “Why am I telling you guys this is because every now and then I get to interact with women living in the east, miserable in their married lives and yet divorce especially with a child is considered a huge blow to their family’s reputation and that’s why they have to live with that forever.”
It sounds strange, doesn’t it? With the rising rate of domestic violence amid coronavirus, this does sound quite a stretch. Well, there are couples who parted ways on not-so-harsh terms. This woman also says so, “I was happily divorced and got married to Ali when Hanna was 18 months old. She considers Ali her father not only ‘cause she doesn’t remember it, but because he has given her more love than any biological father would. Sometimes I feel she loves him more than she loves me and it just makes me happy and glad for whom I chose to be for the rest of my life.”
How beautiful would be the feeling to see your child loved by her stepfather more than her biological father? It is rare, we admit. But it doesn’t mean it never happens. Have your faith and move on, that’s the key!
Hope for the rest
Undoubtedly, this couple is a goal and a ray of hope for the rest of the people going through a rough marriage, thinking of divorce every second. This story is beautiful as it not only normalizes speaking on the subject of divorce, but it also sends hope our way.
She concludes her story by saying, “I just wanted to share this for the women out there who are helpless and miserable and feel like there’s no way out. Guess what, there is. You just have to be brave enough and willing to take that path.”
Of course, there is a silver lining to every cloud. We certainly believe in that and advocate the philosophy to the people going through tragic times. There have been many celebrities to go through it and share their stories. Share your inspiring stories with us for the rest to be encouraged.
What do you think of the story? Let us know in the comments below.