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Marriage also known as wedlock is a formal social contract between two people to spend their lives together, to be there for the other person whenever they will need, to stand by their partner in every moment of difficulty and pain, to share their joys and sorrows along with them and to help them in every possible way throughout their lives. Marriage surely is one of the most beautiful relations where people not only accept another person to be a part of their lives but also their likes, dislikes, nature, and habits become a part of their life too.
Though in subcontinent Asia, marriages are completely different. Many things other than the approval of bride and groom are required. Approval of parents of bride and groom, siblings of bride and groom, spouses of siblings of bride and groom, siblings of parents of bride and groom, spouses of siblings of parents of bride and groom, grandparents of bride and groom and lots of other insignificant people is more significant in desi weddings than bride and groom. These marriages are commonly known as “ARRANGED MARRIAGES” which are sometimes arranged without the consent of bride and groom even in this 21st century. Even if there is consent of both, there are very rare cases where the girl and boy have met each other before marriage and discussed their plans and expectations.
Even today the primary standard for bride’s search is beauty rather than her education and other traits. The result is a huge communication gap between the husband and wife after marriage due to which men like to spend time outside home. On the other hand, women complain of being ignored by their husbands because of the same communication gap. In cases where people want an educated bride, mostly it is also merely to showcase her degree as a trophy in the drawing room. Well, that trophy becomes gold medal if the bride is a “doctarni” who can make gol rotis and do not want to pursue her career.
Love marriages, on the other hand, have proven to be more fruitful than arranged marriages in current circumstances where the spouses know each other much better, though in some cases they have failed too. The reason might be the people were not mature enough to understand each other better and let each other know well about their expectations from their partners.
Another reason for the failure of marriages is a non-realistic approach where people do not think about post-wedding life on practical grounds.
Another problem is the working women as most of the desi men don’t want their wives to work and as a result, it is hard to meet the family demands with the only single earning member in the family. The outcomes of these financial constraints are severe as they bring tension and depression between the spouses due to increasing demands and lack of resources.
In desi marriages, bride not only has to understand the groom but also has to maintain an understanding with his family. Along with this, she is also expected to do all the household works alone like cooking, washing dishes, cleaning home, taking care of her parents in law and in some cases brothers and sisters of her husband too. Therefore one cannot ignore the importance of understanding between the two families and the environment of their homes when deciding to marry.
Therefore, for a happy marriage, it is quite important that both the persons share their choices, goals in life and their expectations before committing anything since a broken marriage is worse than any broken commitment. If there is a need, both the partners should support the home by working and if your wife is supporting your house, this is something to be proud of rather than being ashamed. And in-laws do not necessarily have to consider daughter in law as a daughter but they can at least consider her as a human being, as a family member, and as a friend.