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This story has been submitted by Naqi Shaukat.
“And one of His signs is that He has created for you, spouses from among yourselves so that you might take comfort in them and He has placed between you, love and mercy. In this, there is surely evidence (of the truth) for the people who carefully think.” (Surah 30, Verse 21).
The relationship of husband and wife is an unusual yet the most beautiful connection in the world. Just imagine you enter your home tired of the daily routine there she (your wife) is welcoming you with a smile. WOW! Spoof!
Gone your day’s worries and tiredness. Likewise when she is tired of her routine and you just comfort her with some good words. Jokes, quarrels are just part of the relationship that makes it stronger. Trust, understanding, and love are the basis of this relationship. You enjoy traveling together, buying groceries together, and even share each other’s issues whether work or home. This is the way how you two spend the life.
The perfectly imperfect couple
The husband and wife must journey through the difficulties of this life together so that they may reach the ultimate destination of paradise together.
A mature husband and wife know the value of their bond and its impact. Neither the husband expects the wife to forget her family, neither the wife expects the husband to leave his family as she did. They don’t bring back the matters of the past and sneer at each other regularly for the past mistakes that were committed.
Now for one moment just look around you what do you see these days. How often do you hear he or she is getting a divorce? Sad, but true. This is a serious issue not only in Pakistan but globally as well. The end to this relationship not only destroys the Husband and wife but also has last effects on the children the Families and subsequently on society as well. Generations are destroyed, as a result.
Similar to global trends divorce rate is increasing gradually in Pakistan too. In Punjab (Pakistan), in 2014 khula cases registered were 16,942 that rose to 18,901 cases in 2016. In 2019 in Karachi 11,143 cases filed, 2020 first quarter 3,800 cases filed, one and the half-year preceding to June 2020 cases filed were 14,943; out of which 4,752 disposed of effecting 2,000 women divorced in 2019 affecting 2100 children.
But, where are we heading?
Heart-wrenching statistics show where are we heading? When searched out by few following reasons were discovered for rising divorce rates in Pakistan.
- Domestic Violence
- Western influence
- Financial Issues
- Extra Marital Affairs
These issues lead to divorce in our society. One issue that no article has yet highlighted is the wrong upbringing of the person. You are a child’s first education point is home. So the main fault lies in what environment you give to your child. What he sees his parents doing, 75% of the males and females replicate it in their relationships.
Secondly, as a parent when you select the life partner for your daughter or son you need to clearly look at few things.
- What is the character of the parents?
- Are the family values similar to yours?
- The financial status of the family (similar to yours)!
- Is your son/daughter willing to get married there or it is just a family obligation?
- How have you brought up your child?
Ensuring these few things will certainly impact the future of to be husband and Wife. Now it is up to these two how they carry it.
Happy marriages need selflessness
If you’re selfless, you think less about yourself and more about others. But unfortunately, selflessness is often overlooked in relationships. On the surface, it appears to run contrary to the very notion.
A voiced assertion is important in every marriage, particularly for those who speak the words of affirmation love language. Some people feel that words have more heft than actions, and if your husband is one of those people, he would rather hear the reasons behind your love versus any other expression of love.
“They (your wives) are a clothing (covering) for you, and you too are a clothing (covering) for them” (Surah 2, Verse 187)
Here Allah (SWT) uses the word, which translated is clothing/covering. The purpose of clothes or covering is to protect you, keep you warm, etc. This is the type of relationship that must exist between a husband-wife. It must be a relationship where both are protected, both emotionally and physically by each other.
“Marriage is a perfect bond between two imperfect persons”.