أحِبُّوا الصِّبْيانَ وَارْحَمُوهُم فإذَا وَعَدْتُمُوهُم فَفُوا لَهُم فإنَّهُم لا يَرَوْنَ إلاّ أنَّكُم رازِقُوهُم.
“Love your children, and be kind and merciful to them. Fulfill your promises made to them since children consider their father to be the one who provides for their sustenance.”
Not often, but very casually, the desi parents have developed the habit of abusing their children. Even during heated arguments, parents would use abusive remarks to talk to their children. Abusing and cursing your children from the start instills various toxic behaviors in them, such as them feeling worthless and failing to do something productive in their lives. Most of all, it makes them hate their own parents.
The reverse psychology works in this way – a child, who is just made of love and care, each day hears who he or she should’ve never born and hears the immense amount of abuses, without any reason. This makes him or her emotionally abusive and thus, they would want to make you experience the same amount of pain.
Religiously, Islam has Stressed On How It is Important for Parents to Be Nice to Their Children
Children are regarded as the flowers in the heaven. The Prophet (SAWW) was always kind to children, regardless of whether they were his own or not. His life was a complete example, and how he was towards children shows how the parents should be.
“Fear Allah, the Almighty, and be fair and just to all your children. Seek the testimony of another person, other than me. I will not testify to an act of injustice.” [Sahih Bukhari]
The home of a child is meant to be a safe place for them – where they expect to see no harm being done to them. Harming does not revolve around physical abuse only; verbal abuse affects the wellbeing of children drastically, especially when they are experiencing it from a young age.
However, because the desi parents have made abusing a ‘norm’, it is regarded as a normality and when children express how they have been the victim of this, they are told to let it go.
Home is a place where the residents get to nurture, love and develop their roots that will help them grow the entire life which comes ahead of them. Abusive parents are definitely giving their children abusive, mentally disruptive roots that lead to various insecurities and traumatic experiences.
The Prophet Muhammad (SAWW) Taught Us to Be Gentle with Children
Prophet Muhammad (SAWW) would pick up children in his arms and give a kiss on their forehead. He had immense love for his grandsons, Hussain and Hasan (Peace be upon them).
Aqrah bin Haabis told the Prophet (PBUH) once that he has 10 children, and he has not kissed any of them. Upon hearing this, the Prophet said, “The one with no pity for others is not pitied.” [Al-Bukhari]
Prophet (SAWW) once said, “I stand in prayer and wish to prolong it. However, I hear the cry of a child and cut the prayer short for the anxiety which the mother is feeling.” [Al-Bukhari]