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I recently wrote an article that received a lot of backlashes. Typical comments called me a ‘feminazi’ or a ‘male-hating’ liberal.
I am not writing this article to address that. My article sort of generalized all men as tharkis, but I know that *deep breath*, not all men are the same. There you go, Pakistan, a feminist just said that. So, here are a few times Pakistani men have made me proud to call myself a Pakistani.
1) When all the fathers I know work long and hard to provide for their kids:
Yes, women work too, but it is less common in the older generation. Also, women have the luxury to stop working if they want, whereas society would look down upon any man who wants to be a stay-at-home dad. So thank you, men, for slaving away in a workplace just to see the happiness on your family’s face.
2) That one time I screamed when a biker tried to steal my phone and all the men helped beat him up:
I can never forget the feeling of pride as men of all ages rushed to stop that biker from escaping. I was handed my phone and many of them offered to walk me to my office. I sincerely thank any man who wouldn’t think twice about rushing to anyone’s aid.
3) That time a fellow colleague told me I deserved the promotion:
A lot of men claim that women use their “female charms” to get a promotion, even though most of us work as hard as everybody else. I appreciate every single man who congratulated me instead of telling me I didn’t deserve my promotion. In fact, I hope you get promoted soon!
4) When my father allowed me to work a night-shift, and even arranged for transportation:
I thank every father or brother who has taught their daughters and sisters how to protect themselves and has arranged safe ways for them to achieve their dreams.
5) When my brother taught me how to drive:
Sure, he joked about women not being able to drive, but that mentality will take a few generations to change. Nevertheless, I appreciate any guy who realizes that driving could be an essential skill in emergencies and teaches those siblings or daughters who ask for help.
6) When my male professors didn’t discriminate between girls and boys and treated both with equal respect:
It is a common behavior of certain professors to behave disrespectfully with boys and act completely different in a female environment. However, I have encountered many professors who have been graceful in the company of both genders.
7) When men realize the difference between being chivalrous and doing women ‘favors’:
Let me explain. When I say I’m a feminist, the most common reply I get is that ‘Yeah, so you want men to pay for your dates and give up seats, but you still hate all men.’ That’s a bit silly because feminism asks for rights like education, Islamic inheritance and freedom to work should one choose to.
It has little to do with asking men to behave decently, though that would definitely be a bonus. One, no feminist would ever mind paying for a date with her husband. And two, no feminist expects you to give up your seat unless the woman is old or pregnant, in which case, it’s just ill-mannered if you don’t. Not anti-feminist.
8) When all my male friends were respectful and friendly, without expecting anything in return:
I had lots of male friends in university, and we often went out as a group. None of them ever looked at me inappropriately or ever tried to pressure me into a relationship. I totally understand that just because it didn’t happen to me doesn’t mean it never happens (something a lot of anti-feminists don’t understand), but it just showed that for every rotten guy, there are ten who aren’t.
So there you have it, a few reasons to thank Pakistani men.
Dear men (and certain women), continue respecting the people around you, and please stop spreading so much negativity in the comments section. Women see everything you do for us, and we appreciate it. All we ask is that you appreciate us in return.