Why are you reading this article ? Most probably you have such A relationship and you are confused . you want to leave your partner but then you hope they will change ?
1. Abuse has many faces
Abuse has many forms , it can be physical or verbal . Physical abuse is also of two main types .Beating and Torture .Both have different consequences , both should be tackled differently .
2. Beating and Torture
Beating is an ethical issue , you should never allow anyone to beat you . Violence is criminal act it has legal consequence .Beating is slight hitting that does not cause any blood , bumps , or rashes but violence is hitting someone hard enough to cause injury . Please learn to distinguish them . Do not torture your kids in the name of discipline it will ruin their lives .Do not accept torture either , you may end up dead or really injured in the end .
3. Is there any hope?
A partner who beats ,has hope , but a a partner who tortures has no future , he/she has mental problems . He/she can not be changed . He/she will not leave his/her ways . Unless they ,themselves , want to be treated and take all medications very seriously which is very rare .
There are very few marriages that have torture . What is the end of such marriage , defiantly not happy .Such marriages are doomed to end badly but how badly ?? what will be the price , you can decide it .
5. Its not always men
Men are notorious to get violent but they are equal victims of domestic violence ,anyone can be sick ,even women .If you have a wife who can hurt you ,please take it seriously .Mentally sick people can harm others really really bad because they are sick .
6. Red Flags
People drop hints in beginning , they see how you react if you did not draw lines they will keep on bending and twisting you .Abuse is built in relationships in a subtle manner .If your partner is threatening you that he/she will kill you ,they pull knives and guns on you again and again . And every time you are saved by some coincidence please take it seriously , they will kill you eventually .
Dangerous people have obsessions with guns , snakes , poisons and other horrible things . Deep down they are really disturbed . If you are married to them you know how they feel deep down . Don’t you ?
8. How to tackle torture
OK, if its beating then you can ask your elders , you can talk to your partner and make it very clear that this type of behavior is not acceptable .You can give them another chance if they promise they will not do it again . But if you are being tortured , please ask for help , ask your family , ask for professional help . Anyone who can help you .Make it clear that you are not safe .Get safe first .There are not many second chances you can give to this kind of partner .
9. Do not remain silent
Such a partner will ensure that you do not speak about it , he/she may warn you for your life or he/she may threat you for committing suicide . Please save your own life .Go and talk to your doctor if you have none at the moment .
Yes, abusers are great manipulators . They may shower you expensive gifts , poetic gifts .They will pamper you. When they have beaten you to death they will walk an extra mile to take you back . They may cut their wrists , hurt themselves , eat poison . Do not have mercy on them , have mercy on your own self . Ask your parents , talk to professionals . Read a book about abuse , any abuse .
11. Fifty Shades of Grey
That’s exactly how abuse is built , it starts with flowers , gifts and love . This is exactly how relationships look in the beginning . They built their control slowly and they are good at it . Every coming year , the abuse increases ,it gets bigger and bigger .Before touching your body they will touch your heart .
How can you leave him/her if you love them ?Right? …..Wrong . Because it takes two normal people to build up a normal relationship .NORMAL is the magic word .