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The things that Allah SWT teaches me, amazes me. I’m thankful for all the sour people that come in my life. It teaches me to stand up for myself, it teaches me morals, and it teaches me how to grow. Based on my strange encounter with a person I had no idea was an Imam, because of his lack of ethics, I decided to list out things. I wish I was treated like a girl seeking help from a leader.
1) Take Some Counseling/ Psych Courses
Please learn how to approach a broken person. Learn how to talk to someone, especially if they refuse to discuss confidential information with you. If you want to help them, RESPECT THEIR PRIVACY and keep it HALAL.
If you are an Imam, learn to be professional in social work rather than to start abusing a victim and forcing them into your advice.
2) Never Insult Your Followers
The first thing they told me is that I’m bitter. Why? Because I wasn’t giggling or sweet-talking. I wasn’t smiling. I’m a survivor and trying to get my work done. As a woman, I prefer to be the straight-to-the-point when talking to someone, particularly to a man.
You don’t know the person who has come to you for help. You don’t know what they went through. You don’t tell them they’re messed up for sticking to the rules and sharing their opinion. Sympathize with them.
3) Never Use Religion As A Weapon Against Others
This shows your lack of understanding of Islam. Are you advising someone by threatening them? That’s a form of abuse in itself. It’s messed up and can never help anyone.
4) Listen To What Your Follower Is Saying
Listen to them carefully. Empathize with them. Try to put yourself in their shoes. Understand them. Open your heart to them. Be kind to them. Look at what they’re going through. Look at their struggles, their circumstances, give them credit for the effort they made to overcome the situation.
5) Believe In Others
When they tell you their crisis, don’t take it for granted. It’s not something to be taken lightly. Don’t slap them in their face by saying that it’s not a big deal, or that people are going through worse things. Believe in what they’re saying. Help them get better, help them heal.
6) Allow Others To Express Their Opinions
Allow them to choose their path. After all, they’re the ones who are struggling, give your suggestions but don’t enforce it on them. Give them enough time to process information and think through your advice.
DO NOT FORCE your opinion on someone.
HasbiyAllahu wa ni’mal wakil. In the end, Allah SWT is everyone’s, Wali. Allah is everyone’s protector. Allah is the one who provides refuge. Let Allah be Allah and let you be the Imam. JazakAllahukhairan.