To All The Girls Out There; “Do These Words Really Matter?”

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How sweet is it to be called ‘babe’ by your guy. No? You’d do anything to hear that word from his mouth. Only if you knew, how in calling you ‘babe’, he’s taking you for his sexual partner; you pleasing him more every time he calls you ‘babe’.

You randomly bump into a guy; say ‘hi’ to him and he replies with a ‘hello dear’. You automatically start liking him because that ‘dear’ word makes him sound so sweet. Doesn’t it? I wish you knew how that’s the very first trap conveniently laid by a smooth talker.

Ever stood in a queue behind a guy where he allows you to stand in front of him because ‘ladies first’? Awww how chivalrous of him. No? Only if you knew how glib-tongued he is. Obviously, he wants you to be attracted to something that he has; be it chivalry, if not his looks or intellect.

Your guy friend takes you out for dinner at some five-star hotel. He asks you to order whatever you feel liking eating. You order more than you want, of course, because he’ll be paying the bill. While the dinner is served, he gifts you a diamond bracelet; holds your hand and helps you wear it; calls you ‘doll’, then kisses your hand. You’re stunned because he’s never kissed you before but it’s ok after all you’re his ‘doll’ and he’s doing so much for you. No? I wish you knew, how unknowingly, in that very moment, you’ve turned your guy-friend into your boyfriend.

 Do you not remember your childhood? How you bought yourself a doll, played with it for quite some time but then you saw a new one, bought it, and threw the old one.

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Let’s talk about him asking you to send him your pictures from the birthday party. He talks a little about your figure and those legs and you’re feeling shy. He then tells you how your friends are sexier than you because you’re wearing a loose dress. So the next day when you meet him, he calls you ‘hot’ because you’re wearing a tight dress. You’re very happy now. No? Only if you knew that in discussing your figure he’s only commodifying you.

Did he even tell you how cute your new butterfly earrings were or how lovely your news shoes were? He never called you ‘beautiful’ because it symbolizes who you are but being ‘hot’ and ‘sexy’ symbolizes the way he wants to see you.

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You get good grades and you tell him. He is super excited, congratulates you by kissing your lips for the good news you gave him, hugs you tight, and calls you ‘hun’. Being called honey by a guy is simply so sweet. Isn’t it? I wish you knew how in sharing the good news with him you are only giving him the reason to please himself.

You miss your guy because you haven’t talked to him in quite a while. Obviously, you miss him because initially you both talked and texted each other the entire day and you’re so used to it but now you keep calling him and he doesn’t respond. You text him and he doesn’t reply.

After weeks of you sending him paragraph-long texts, almost daily; he replies with a ‘bae mwah’ and of course that kiss emoticon. Your day is made, because that short text shows how busy he is but he still managed to reply back to you.

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That’s how much you mean to him. No? Only if you knew, how it’s all a matter of priorities. No one is busy all the time; if they care, they’ll make time for you.  You’re so blinded by the happiness of getting a reply from him that you hardly realize how you got that very reply from him at the cost of losing your self-esteem!

Not that being associated with a guy is bad but that you should be very careful about how a guy treats you and most important of all, what words he uses to address you.

Don’t let people ‘babe’ you. You have a beautiful name. Let the world know you by your name. You’re a girl but you’re nobody’s ‘gal’. You’re a ‘dear’ to no random guy. Don’t allow people to show you favors by playing the ‘ladies first’ on you. You don’t look ‘sexy’ in the dress you wear; you make the dress look beautiful because you’re wearing it.

However you are, you’re beautiful because you are you. Rest assured, being beautiful is better than being ‘hot’. I know you’re afraid that in doing so you’ll become a girl, too good for him. If it is so; well, be it.

Let him become a better person for a girl who’s too good for him. Don’t change yourself for others let others change themselves for you. Learn to value yourself. Take pride in who you are.

 

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