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You think she has it all figured out. Her life is on the right track. Oh yes and everything around her is perfect. Well, it’s not, dig in deep and you’ll see demons have surrounded her from everywhere. Ever looked at her when she’s smiling, look into her eyes they don’t tell you the same story her smile does. The tears glisten in her eyes but she doesn’t let them fall. The place for the precious diamonds is just the pillow she sleeps on.
You think she’s a genius, she has great ideas but in reality, a thousand thoughts are running through her head. A hundred ‘what if’s’ and ‘don’ts’. It feels like her mind is a war zone. All those memories keep messing with her head. At times everything is black, her world, her future, her soul. Society tells her to forget it and move on. How easy for them to say that. Walk in her shoes and you’d know how hard it is to escape a living nightmare.
Once someone asked her why didn’t you ever tell your parents or someone close to you about what happened. I wonder how people even manage to say such things. Do you think it is a piece of cake to tell someone that a piece of your innocence was robbed off by some guy who had kids of his own? Do you think it is easy to tell anyone that you were violated? You were so young yet you knew you were being wronged, you weren’t supposed to be touched this way, how do you tell that to your mother, tell me?
Do you know how it feels when the pain gets overbearing and you start overbearing and threatening that you’ll cry harder but you don’t threat that you’ll tell your mother? Do you realize how hard it is to get rid of the smell that is still there on your hands? Do you realize how hard it is to stop yourself from spilling the truth when people praise the person who ruined you, beyond limits? Do you know how embarrassing it is when you fear your own father, that he’d hurt you?
Can you imagine a thirteen-year-old thinking that when she gets severe cramps, she might be pregnant? Can you imagine how a simple motorcycle ride led to something disastrous? Try imagining how she must have felt when her sister was given snacks and sent to watch the cartoon so that he has a good time alone with her.
Can you imagine how fucked up her head is? Can you ever feel how hard it is to go back to sleep when you have nightmares of being hurt, again and again? Do you know that she prayed every day that he dies but then she’d go, no god no! What about his family? Do you realize how difficult it would be to trust a man in her life? Do you realize how she feels when she thought: that maybe it was her own fault, she should have had the courage to stop him, hits her pretty little head.
Do you realize how scared she is of what will happen in the near future? Can you feel the excruciating pain she has when she thinks she is damaged goods? Have you ever had the difficulty of not being able to concentrate on anything? Have you ever had negative thoughts throughout the day? Have you ever been scared shitless that you might not able be to protect your sisters from the same evil you witnessed? Have you ever felt the helplessness over the fact that you cannot help the other victims?
She hates it when everyone has the time to discuss the lamest things ever but not talk about the most serious issue prevailing in our society. She hates it when people tell her don’t speak about that to anyone as if it was her fault. She hates the look people give when they hear she was a victim. She hates when children are not given education about sex. She hates when girls are not taught self-defense. She hates when men regard women as mere sex objects. She hates when people don’t realize the intensity of this overgrowing problem in Pakistan.
Yes! I tell you she was abused sexually and molested. She hasn’t healed completely but she’s gathering the broken fragments of her that are waiting to be picked up. I pray that she’ll be far better than what she is right now. I pray that may she always be protected from every evil. Yes I believe and she believes it too, she will rise again and spread her wings. She’ll find a person who’ll accept her the way she is. She will be able to smile often and cry less. She will find a way out to fulfill every goddamn of hers. I believe no force will be able to stop her from becoming the person she always wished to be. I believe no one can snatch the inner beauty she possesses.
Every year thousands of women are raped, molested and killed in the name of honor. I ask who will stand for them. I ask who will treat them emotionally and physically. It’s time we stand up and finally put this thing to halt, because your daughter, sister, wife or friend could be the next victim.