Women – 1400 years ago were burnt alive as soon as they were born. They were never taken as the “pride of the family” because they didn’t have what it takes to run the next generation after inheriting 50 percent of prevailing inheritance.
Women – the ‘suppressed gender’ in many parts of the world in this advanced 21st century. No, I don’t label myself as a “desi feminist” – rather someone who wants to show this demeaning society that we, women of the 21st century are capable of a lot more than what we are limited to.
Currently enjoying life as a young adult I often come across absurd restrictions imposed on women when the topic of marriage is in the air as my mother works as a desi match-maker aunty. If you are a desi woman nearing the age of marriage, you might want to avoid doing the following things if you want to get married into a “decent” family.
Note: You might not agree to some of these points as you may not have heard them in your circle, but remember, there is an entire world out there.
1. “Do NOT Get A Lot Of Education. You Won’t Get Good Rishtay If You Study Too Much”
“We do not want to marry our son to someone who has a higher degree in education than our son. She will suppress him as she will be superior.” Women are often rejected because they have a higher education than a man, making the family feel insecure that she will think less of him. And obviously, if women study too much, the “perfect age” of getting marriage passes as well.
2. “Don’t Wait Till 25 Years Of Age. You Won’t Find Good Rishtas After You Turn 25“
Suddenly all the men will be out of your reach once you turn 25 because that’s “too old” for a woman. If she wants to wait and build her career after getting the desired amount of education, she first needs to ‘secure’ herself by the presence of a man.
3. “You Are Too Dark. They Want Someone Fair For Their Son“
Sure, your Prince Charming son “deserves” a fair girl because her skin color matters more than her compatibility with your son. Of course, if she is dark, how will she give you fair grand-children, right? The color of their skin matters more than the upbringing the couple can provide to the upcoming generation.
4. “She’s Too Tall/Short. Won’t Look Nice With A Man“
Blame her for the genes she inherited. Blame her for not swinging enough on the monkey bar in her childhood since she is not tall enough for your son. Blame her for everything and reject her on these natural realities.
5. “A Working Woman Who Earns More Than A Man? No Way!“
When it comes to financial security, the concept of marriage in our society circles around the fact that women must depend on their husbands. Often women are denied from a decent marriage proposal because she chooses to work for herself and make money on her own. What shatters the ego of many more is when a working woman earns higher than a man.
6. “Short Hair and Piercings? These Are Not Respectable!“
Because respect is measured by the amount of piercings you have and the length of your hair. Nothing else matters. So girls, don’t cut your hair short or get too many piercing or else a respectable family will reject you.
7. “She Speaks Too Much. So Not Decent“
Well, talk about being comfortable in front of your possible in-laws who then reject you because you spoke too much.
While restricting and rejecting women based on some societal rules may shatter them once, it will build them even stronger one day, just like the women in this article. Don’t let them tell you who you are.