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I have a really close friend and she belongs to a very conservative family, so a couple of days ago after seeing my Whatsapp display picture (which was of my sister’s all dolled up for her wedding), she asked Sarah where did baji get her makeup done from? After seeing her keen interest in makeup, I was amazed because she isn’t really a makeup person.
I asked her Maliha are you really asking me this, and why? you don’t have any weddings coming up in your khandan right? That’s when she told me that her parents are finding a rishta for her nowadays. At first, I started teasing her that how will you meet the guy and his family what questions will they ask? Has your mom finalized any rishta yet? Please let me be the first one to know about it.. But somewhere in this chit chat, I felt something unusual in her behavior when she said “Yaar! Koi na koi tou mujhe pasand ker he lega.” “At least someone will appreciate my looks”
She was insecure and frustrated. Her words “SOMEONE WILL APPRECIATE MY LOOKS” caught her in the fear of rejection and to some extend I was worried, not for her for our dear society. Like really people judge girls on the basis of their looks, their gora rang, their nazuk features.
People looking for “bahus” commonly known as rishtay wale who come and go examine girls as they are buying a statue that should be perfect with no flaws. Asking questions like do you know how to cook food because my beta loves har kism ka khana.
Completely neglecting the fact that you were shedding your blood (not really) studying for the last 4-5 years to get your professional degree. But LOVELIES remember one thing. Your talent, your ambitions, your skills of making a gol roti. I also know a girl, the guy’s family rejected her because she used to do hijab and the mother’s guy wanted k bahu bs khadan mai krle hijab wh bhi shadi k bad, actually mera beta is from *names a elite university* uska social circle thora modern hai.
“Really, modernizing is to alter your clothing than sadly animals are more modernized than us”
This cringe me to think how far we have come, is this standards for choosing a bahu? If it is so than I feel really sorry to say that this is really disrespectful and disgraceful. LOVELIES you are not defined by the people who come to see you. You are defined by your ikhlaq, seerat, talent, ambition, creativity. Don’t let this take over you.
There are good people too. I know the feeling of being rejected, But honestly, people who turn you down, they have daughters too. And they are actually the one praying that this never happens to their own daughters. ALLAH is protecting you. He knows what is good for you. Your aren’t someone to be judged in 5 minutes over some some fake smiles and cup of tea. CHOOSE HAPPINESS, BE YOURSELF!