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“Mere beti ne tu medical le hai, ap ke beti ne commerce kyou le?”
“Why did you take commerce? Beta percentage achi nhi ae kya?”
“Commerce? Aray beta is ka scope nhi hai!”
“Beta commerce larkiyoon ke liye nhi hai. B.Com karo ge?”
These are the things people say when you take a commerce (and if you are a girl it’s worse!). They think probably you didn’t score well on your matriculation exam. From my personal experience? I have face it all.
In my matriculation, I scored well enough to get into a Government Medical College. But I decided to choose Commerce (even though I could have taken medical/engineering) that was something that came unexpected. I wanted to try something new, I wanted to do something I loved.
*coughs*counting*coughs*money*. But when my relatives found that I am choosing commerce over medical….hell broke loose. Even the men in my family who have a business of their own told me that ‘I can’t proceed further because it’s useless. You didn’t have to take commerce, if you are so interested in business you could have learned it without wasting your two years.’ and other things like that.
I was sad, disappointed, gobsmacked and above all I was angry. I suffered from depression before even the collage begin. I was told that I was wasting my father’s precious money. I was told that I would be of no use. I was told that ‘tum kahi ke nhi raho gy.’ On the other side, which isn’t safe either. I was told that commerce wasn’t up to my standard. It was easy as a halwa and a child’s play. My mother wasn’t convinced of letting me choose commerce but then of course, being a mother she understood my firm determination and let me choose it. Despite being a victim of depression, I constantly smiled and tried to calm myself by watching TV series or occupying myself with various things. My cousins stopped talking to me at that time and I was alone.
The first day of college I was a nerve wreck, I threw up in the bathroom after fifth period and then I cried, while trying to make myself presentable. Despite being depressed, I couldn’t cut myself ( honestly, majority does this) but I was getting weak because I skipped meals.
Just because of this little thing. As a small girl, I was told to do whatever elders told me to do. At various stage of my life, I compared myself to boys. But in my household, never such things happened. I grew up in an environment where I was being loved more than my brothers, where my father listened to me with patience and then gave his opinion.
Now, here I am still living and happy. Depression gone like never it existed. Why? Because I am studying what I love. It took me time.
It took tear-soaked pillows, it took losing my weight, it took 10 season of friends & TAWOG to get over it. I lost my friends, stopped talking to my parents and siblings. But in the end, I healed. I healed because I had to. I healed because I knew that my parent’s can’t be crutch forever. I healed because I wanted to prove that despite being a girl with no business background, I can do something. Something that WILL matter.
Something my damn phuppho ka beta can’t do. (#YOLO)
And dear relatives and people who told me that I won’t get a decent job or maybe I won’t end up somewhere else; “Mujay mera naseeb me likha rizk Allah dega, ap ke assumptions aur advices nhi. Hush now. And just for the record, I study harder than all of your kids combined. So STOP comparing me to your innocent-two faced-bratty kids” Not every single freaking girl in this world isn’t obliged to take damn medical. For Allah’s sake, stop forcing your kids to choose the major YOU LIKE. You might lose your kid without knowing. They might come to hate you for this, they might hold that guilt throughout their lives. Please don’t do that if you love your kid. Have a little faith on Allah.