I wanted to write a lot about it but I am unable to find the right words. When I do feel I have found the right words, I feel that the painfulness of my journey cannot be described by words which don’t do justice. However, I want to address to those people who think cancer is something you can joke.
It Is Not!
Two years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. That very moment changed me completely. From that point and on, I realized the importance of life. I realized what a beautiful blessing life is. I learned to be grateful to Allah. I realized so many things people don’t care about because they do not go through this pain. They take their life for granted.
The hardest time in this journey was when I was told that the cancer was too aggressive to be treated with medication and was present in really delicate part of the brain that made it inoperable. The cons of surgery included paralysis, blindness or death. Having this said, I knew that chemotherapy was the last option. It was a really painful procedure. It reminded me of what I had been taking for granted wasn’t even mine.
In those days, all I could think was how my fellows are progressing in life and I am stuck in these treatment procedures, without any hope of survival. I felt that even if I made out of this, life won’t be same anymore. My body will depend on medication. Most of us just waste our lives and our bodies by living with no aim and neither do we look for one.
When chemotherapy ended the process of radiotherapy started. Another darkness People are often stressing over missing their meals. My main fear was that I might miss one prescription, I might wake up in the hospital. I got tired thinking all of this and could not believe what was happening to me. Life seemed pointless.
I didn’t want to get emotionally attached with someone because all I knew was that my life is unpredictable. Nobody has any idea about tomorrow, but people with the fatal disease live under this fear continuously. This is mostly because they never know what their reports look like after few weeks. I don’t know why I’m writing this but I just wanted to put down my words.
Chemotherapy and radiotherapy have a huge impact on the body. So if you’re smiling and still fighting with all this pain, then you’re challenging cancer and giving it an equally hard time. I know I might not survive but I’m still fighting. Fighting for those who are important to me. For those, I’m just trying to survive as long as I could.
And if you know a person whose going through such painful journey, make sure you are there for them. Make sure you give them hope.
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