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It occurs to me that my mind is recycling each notary thought in a meticulous process, as to prevent my consumption of anything unnerving. At twenty years old I do not know as much as I would like to know, nor can I change the fact that to acquire the knowledge that makes up the secrets of the universe I have to become older. And that is how eons of my life will pass. That is how all our lives tend to pass.
I became a law student so I could advocate for human rights in a torn country, so I could be a messiah to the masses and cure poverty, discrimination and the divides of totalitarianism. I wanted to be someone like Asma Jahangir and have my education, my activism matter in the forlorn crisis that has been rooted in my homeland. But I was wrong. A year into law school has eradicated any sort of hope for humanity. And here’s why.
In a capitalistic world, the rich prevail. In a poor country like Pakistan, the rich prevail. In a profession where advocating for someone’s right to life might very well be a central issue, the rich prevail.
I will not sit here on a throne of self-righteousness to claim that I am not a slave to this corporate greed. However, I will point out that it was not my desire to be a cog in this machine. I went to college looking for meaning and clarity. I did come across absolute transparency. But, I lost all apparent meaning.