Hijabis are always bombarded with the same “typical questions” which every rishte wali aunty or your phupho asked of you, all the time, every time. Job kab tak karogi? Shaadi ka iraadah nae? Itni kamzoor kyun hoti jarahi ho? Or ye itni bari si chadar kyun li hoi hai? Rishte nae aenge bibi! And you were like ugh!
Sometimes, I think that these aunties have only two purposes in life. First, to watch morning shows and note down the totkas. Second, to criticize the “phool jaisi bachiyan”. However, here are a few questions (actually tanz ke teer) which every hijabi faces throughout their lives!
1. Kya Apko Garmi Nae Lagti?
This teer holds the first position, it is actually as a starter before the meal. Afterward, the cannons open their mouths! Hijabis stay calm please!
2. Ap Ise Carry Kaise Karti Hain?
Jaise hijab na hoa, pregnancy hogai. What do you mean by that aunty? May I ask you how you are carrying your weight then? Haan? Bataen bataen?
3. Apki Family Strict Hogi Na?
No, not at all. Wearing hijab is my own choice. Neither my father or my brother ever asked me to do it.
4. Are You Inspired From ISIS or Any Other Militant Extremist Group?
Yup, being a hijabi I am a diehard fan of all the Mullahs and Muftis of Daesh. Now go and check my Facebook profile, ask your kids to take screenshots of my “tashadud angez and jarihana posts” and send them to the Interior Minister! Seriously, dude!
5. Shadiyon Me Bhi Aise He Jati Ho?
Yes! And the guards at the gate check my bag, wallet, count the money and then allow me to go in. Please, aunties, don’t poke your noses in others’ businesses!
6. Ghar Me Bhi Hijab Nae Utarti?
No! But when I do, this is what I look like!
7. Apke Baloon Me Joeen Nae Parti?
8. You don’t have to worry about washing your hair, right?
The weirdest one! I don’t want to even include that one, but! Well, these aunties are more concerned about “lice” in our hair than mice in their houses!