There are all types of beliefs, religious beliefs, cultural beliefs and family’s beliefs. But there is something higher up than all of these beliefs. That is Pakistani beliefs. Now, I am not saying that we Pakistanis are the only ones with weird beliefs. There are many other nations with weird and idiotic beliefs but if I make fun of them then I would be labeled as racist or as someone who is spewing hate. And as we all know it is okay to joke about your own race, religion, and country.
Before I start and get into anything, I have to give this disclaimer since it might get a little controversial. The content of this article was not written to cause offense to anyone. If you did get offended by anything that I said I am sorry in advance. So, now that I have gotten that out of the way, let’s continue with the article.
1. Cawing means guests are coming
This has to be the most common Pakistani Belief out there. This belief goes like, if a crow sits on any part of your house and start cawing away this means guests are coming over. Whenever I was a kid and I would hear a crow going absolute mad outside my house I would get excited because I thought my cousins are coming over. But nothing of the sort happened and I would just be sitting alone throughout the day with my hopes up. So, THANK YOU SOCIETY!
Everywhere in the world, I think you are only happy as a kid when the guests are coming over. As you start growing up you start resenting guests. Well, if we were as religious as we think we are. We would know that in Islam guests are a gift from God. It seems like we Pakistanis are not as religious as we think.
2. Eye twitching: Bad news if left eye, good news if the right one
This is an absolute cracking power to have. This is basically telling the future. Imagine you know that there is something good or bad that is about to happen with you in your life. Imagine how emotionally stable you would become. You would become ready for the bad news and control your happiness for the good news. This is a superpower I would love to have.
Sadly, this is more myth than truth. If the best computer in the world; your brain, doesn’t know about the future then I don’t think your eye does. This is another one of the old saying myths that have still not left us.
3. Hiccups mean someone is missing you
I think the person that came up with this one must have been lonely and just needed validation that he is missed by someone. I don’t know why I resorted to writing something so dark but I did. Well if this belief is true. Then I never get missed by anyone and that makes me sad. I am sure that this is just a false rumor, well at least I hope it is. PLEASE, SOMEONE, MISS ME!
4. Biting your tongue means someone is cussing at you
I really hope that this is not true at all because the amount of times I bite my own tongue per day is more than 5. The thought that I am getting cussed at by people 5 times daily is a very depressing one. I am sure that I just have a fat tongue and tongue biting and cursing are not related at all. This has to be false because it makes no sense at all. At least that is what I tell myself every day.
5. Snipping the air with scissors means your parents will get into a fight
I am proud to say that my parents don’t fight. The only fighting I have seen them doing is when my dad tries to annoy my mother by saying things he knows she hates. So for someone to tell me that I can disturb a loving relationship like that if I start cutting the air my scissors is a bunch of horseshit.
I remember the first time I discovered this belief. I was in the 5th grade and I was just playing with my scissors like a normal 10-year-old. Then a girl from my class came up to me and told me to stop doing that if I don’t want my parents to fight. I don’t know what she had faced but she looked serious. I didn’t succumb to her and start to cut the air faster. After that day I have done this many times and my parents haven’t fought ever.
6. Saying Dajjal’s name will make him appear out of thin air
I just have one thing to say. Are we Pakistanis sure that we aren’t mixing Harry Potter with Islam? I mean I have heard that you cannot say Voldemort’s name. So, is Dajjal Voldemort of our world? If so then who are Slytherin and how can I join Gryffindor. While writing this paragraph I have said Dajjal 10 times and I still cannot see the one-eyed devil in front of me.
Man, this is such a ripoff.
7. Don’t leave the Janamaz unfolded, the shaitan will start praying on it
If this was truly the case won’t you want shaitan to pray? I am so confused about this one. I mean influencing someone to pray is considered one of the best things you can do. So, just think if you influenced Shaitan; the root of all evil to pray, then you must have the highest place in Jannat am I right? This is such a widespread belief that people follow it without even realizing they are following it. Have you ever noticed how your mom folds one side of the Janamaz when she gets up to do something in between? Well, that fold is supposed to prevent the Shaitan from praying. You probably do it as well and you are most likely doing it because you saw your mom doing it.
I am sure that it is all false, I mean if it were true the Quran or the Prophet (S.A.W) would have told us.
Well, these were all the beliefs I could think from the top of my head. There are more from where that came from but I think these are enough for now. No matter whatever you say about these Pakistani beliefs, I have got to admit that our elders sure did have one heck of an imagination.