A typical desi mother and housewife loves watching Pakistani morning shows while doing their daily chores and my case is the same. Just like most of the mothers, my mother has a notebook on which she has written hundred of totkas. Weight berhane ke totkay, weight loss kerne ke tareeqe, baal lambe kerne ka tail, nails ko shiny banane ka tail and so many more!!!
I was happy that at least she has an activity now, but all these happy moments vanished on last weekend when one of our close family friends invited us to the wedding ceremony of his younger son. Soon after receiving the invitation, my mother seemed worried and happy both at the same time, worried about my carelessness in taking care of my skin and happy because now she could finally apply all the totkas she was saving. Instantly, my sister and I became her “testing objects”.
From the mud mask to remove unwanted hair that engulfed a wave of nausea in me to the sticky aloe-vera paste she made for my hair, I released how desi mothers can go to any extent to make us ‘beautiful’.
1. “Cucumber With Almonds? Khaana Hai Ke Lagana Hai?”
Seriously? Almonds are about Rs.1600 per kg, mom. We should eat them instead of wasting.
2. “Honey, Carrot Juice, Orange Juice, Mustard Oil …Mom? Is It A New Cocktail?”
And then apply on your lips to make them pink. Mom? Pee lun? Poori pinky hojaoge.
3. “Gram Flour, Turmeric Powder With Plain Flour…Aata Gondh Liya Ami…”
Mom: “Beta is se sare unwanted hair khatam hojaenge.”
Me: “About 39% of the population in Pakistan is living under the poverty line, we should distribute this flour mom if dad has brought excessive amount this month.”
Mom: “Chal chal baad me sunlunge lecture, pehle ye lagao munh per.”
Mom 1 – Me 0
4. Blackheads On Nose? Not A Problem Anymore, Beta…
Glue? Boric Acid? Allah ko manen mom…
5. “Garlic Cloves Lagao Nails Pe, Shiny Hojaenge Beta”
And what about its smell? Yuck!
6. Beetroot Ka Juice, Karele Ka Juice, Tinde Ka Juice….YUKH!
Now, the machine smells like *censored*
7. “Tomato Paste Lagao, Gori Ho Jao Gy”
Being desi, our mothers seems worried about our “fair complexion” all the time. How about we use that paste to make chicken karahi, mom?