“Log Kia Kahain Ge”… every Pakistani has heard this phrase over and over in their life at just about every point. Our society is the super-villain of our lives. From studying to marrying, in every decision you make in life, you have to keep “the people” in mind. You have to get good grades because you got to beat your cousin and it doesn’t matter whether you’re actually learning something or not. It’s not just restricted to education only, but this has been eating up our dreams like a termite. May it be anything, ‘Log Kia Kahain Ge’ always affects our decisions…
Education – Girls and Guys Can Chose Specific Fields Only
A boy usually hears this phrase when he’s told never follow your dreams because they’ll lead you out of the “normal” life and “normal” people and how will you earn money by following your passion in let’s say music?
“Mey culinary parna chata hun. Kia? Bawarchi bana hai? Log kia kahain gaie”
Never Say A Word Against Whatever Elders Say
Respecting elders is one thing and being their slaves is another. In our society, going against your parents’ will is not just considered disrespect but even a taboo. And parents see it as a denial of their authority when actually it is just about freedom of choice. But we all know well now that in this changing world, restricting freedom of any kind will never ever generate a positive effect in the long run. I must emphasize that I am not in any way saying that you should forget everything what your parents have done for you. I believe we all are under utmost debt of our parents that we can never repay. But force is never the right way if we are to achieve any development as a society.
Divorce Is Not An Option
You can’t get a divorce no matter how miserable you are because phir log kia kahain gaie.
Nope… Divorce is the worst thing there is. You don’t even talk to a divorcee, let alone marry her or him. If you are unhappy with your married life, screw that. Keep getting beaten up and abused by your partner but don’t utter a word! You are not having a divorce. Because if you do, you are no better than a piece of trash. Because divorced people are not people at all. “Society” doesn’t like it, so you are not doing it.
Everything Happens For Good, Let Fate Decide It
Congratulations, now you are not supposed to do anything in life and just wait and see the goods things unravel before you. I wish things were that way but, unfortunately, they aren’t. The more effort you put, the more you achieve. Not just in practical terms but spiritual as well. One of the reasons of living a life is doing what you do in the best possible way. Life is about doing your best and looking forward to the results you expect. It’s not about being sitting ducks for the world, letting it do with you whatever it wants to.
The Shaadi Culture
There is a marrying age and you are useless after that age. If you are a guy and you ask them to get you married at 25, they will lecture you on how young you are right now and not think about it. On the other hand if you are a girl then your parents start to freak out when you hit 25 years of age as all they’ve been looking forward to will slip right away if you fail to marry someone; Anyone, for that matter.
There is nothing more ridiculous than a marriage in Pakistan. Hardly any aspect of it is sensible very general concept being that she needs to be married of as soon as possible to a filthy rich fellow. I mean nothing else in her life matters anyway, right? And of course she does not have any ambitions or dreams.
“Apne sey kum taar logon mey shaadi karni hai? Log kia kahain gaie”
“Shaadi par sirf aik khaney ki dish ho gi? Log kia kahain gaie”
And then comes the day of the marriage. The day when everyone celebrating the wedding has no idea what they are doing and why. I don’t even want to mention the rituals that are deemed so important. And spend the savings of a lifetime on one event after the other because this day is all you have got, you don’t want the money for the future, because screw logic and the fact k “Log kia kahain gaie?”
This approach needs to stop. Most of the people in Pakistan invest all their energies in demeaning and degrading people… Others can never be happy, so just stop thinking about it! Let it be! Live Your Life The Way YOU Want To! Follow your dreams, at the end of the day, it’s going to be you who will face the consequences of your decisions, not them.