1. Kaghzi-Philosophers and Politicos
Their status is must as if people look up to them always to get views. They are bad at Urdu. Typos can be spotted. Perhaps they make these mistakes as an act of volition or it get done while being in high-potency philosopher’s guise.
Chota munh bari baat-having talent to even ballooning out their petty and cheesy statuses pursuits.
Beygaani shaadi mai Abdullah deewana. They remain happy in happiness of others; live a restless life and a timely reply may prove to be an elixir for them.
4. Science Nerds
Being in quest of scientific knowledge they always look for new groups and pages to follow. Seeing the posts first from some scientific pages is their whim on logging in. Be it theoretical, quantum or cosmology they crave for sipping till last science blob.
They irrespective of mood of post just paste their fancy and motley of emojis, advertising and presenting their services-chahay koi mar gia ho magar wo ‘liker babu’ honay ki offer karaty rahain gey.
6. Check in Givers and Show Offers
Heck! Limit crossers; bathroom check ins & selfies during sajood and rukoo of salaat.
7. Lovers and desi-cupids
Devdas-esque Nakaam Aashiqaan! Wholeheartedly toiling at impressing their virtual mehboobs.
8. Molvis (with petrified apology in advance) and Allah walay hazraat
These people only come here to see videos on various religious scholars, clerics and theologians.
9. Iqbal Kay Shaheen
Who condemn our own youth and being perfects they often find it difficult to learn and pen even Iqbal’s hackneyed/common ones.
10. News breakers
Not knowing jis ka kaam ussi ko hi saajhay (The work suits in the hands of the one skilled to do it), these guinea pigs or unsalaried Wajih Sanis yelling and taking credit for Geo-Hahaha, should try their fate in BBC with Chand Nawab as their source of inspiration.
These peeps go on sharing poetry and Kitab-mela quotes but don’t even know the writers. Being asked, say mumbo-jumbo things in self-defense.
12. Home Made Celebrities
They consider themselves some celebs and often upload pics and videos in trendsetters’ tone and love to be in self-created limelight.
13. Naam Nehaad/So-called Entertainers
People in footsteps of ZaidAli or Ali Sufyan Wasif striving to prove their-selves by attiring dupatta and fake mustache on their girlish faces.
14. Peer-Pressure Takers
They came here scared of being called Paindu and the striker –oye tu facebook pe nahin hai?
At times they get succeeded in trapping innocuous in name of some celebs but have no distinct identity of their own. Kia zindgi hai inki bhi!
16. Trend setters
Discuss each and every event/occasion in prolonged manner. You can call them FB aficionados because they don’t let people forget some occasion easily and keep us constantly afresh about it. You can call them desi relatives of Mark Zingerburger.
17. Ones who never came online
Account is left shutar be mahaaar! They might be on such a sexy business that logging onto Facebook is against their glory. The glory of beavers!
18. Non-digital citizens
Who don’t know anything about Facebook but liking and sharing is done by them considering it a moral imperative. The ratio between their shared posts and written posts is infinity (haha…possibly not but c’est la vie!)