Pakistanis are everywhere in every university, in every country all over the world; they are more scattered than the papri in Flamingo’s chana chaat. Here are a few types of Pakistanis I have encountered while studying abroad …
1. The Junkie
This guy only goes to uni to blow his parents’ money on different types of drugs; new strains of weed, cool bongs, colorful pills and god knows what else. You will either see him in his dorm or at a rave never in class.
2. The Kanjoos Makhi Choos
This one is a good friend to have if you’re living on a budget. He will figure out the cheapest way to survive for four years and he is amazing at splitting bills. You cannot get a cent out of him edgewise.
3. The Ammi Ka Beta
He is the perfect example of a gharaloo bacha; he comes equipped with a beech ke mang, the ability to cook dall-sabzi and will give you all the totkas your mother used to give you at home.
4. The Pretty Boy
This guy is a good looking party animal who never exceeds his limits. You’ll see him party all night Sunday and be the first one in class Monday morning. Even the gori girls want some of this guy.
5. The “I Don’t Associate With Pakistanis”
This guy will act as gora as possible, he will start talking like them, dressing like them doing the same stuff they do and he will try to only be friends with goras. But he doesn’t know that they will never truly accept him as one of their own.
6. The Namazi
This one will pray, keep fasts no matter where he is, he won’t indulge in any haram activities and he will also preach to the rest of his friends, might even drag a few of them to Friday prayers every week.
7. The Forced Namazi
Unlike the real namazi this guy is only doing it because he has been forced to for so many years, it’s like a habit for him now. He will drink, smoke-up, date a gori but always end up in the first line of the jamaat during prayer time.
8. The Tharki
This guy is still not over the fact that he is surrounded by hot provocatively dressed women. His favorite lines are; “yar bachi check kar” and ” Yar woh dhake woh”
9. The Parhakoo Paki
This is the one that spends all his time either in class, the library or study sessions. He’s also the one that everybody comes to when they need help with their homework or assignments.
10. The Prince Of Karachi
The one who fools goras into believing that they belong to the non-existent Pakistani royal family.He brags about his 10 cars, 4 maids, 2 drivers and whatever else he can conjure up.
11. The Adventure Seeker
The Pakistani that is always up for anything; bungee jumping, water skiing, adventure parks you name it, this adrenaline junkie will do it.
12. The Hungry Pakistani
This is my favorite Pakistani he will do anything for food, travel any distance, climb any mountain, especially if it is for Pakistani pakwan.
13. The Jugaru
This guy will have a quick fix for everything. If you didn’t do your assignment, he will know a guy who will sell you his. If you need a fake ID, he’s got your back! Even if you need gulab jamun in the middle of nowhere he will deliver.
14. Finally ” The Homesick Pakistani”
Yar! this guy is the ultimate roondu, he is going to be crying about how he misses his friends, his family, his bachi and even his cat back home in Pakistan